Bill O'Reilly - Special Report - DailyRacingRag.com

LETHAL WEAPON In a wicked new version of the buddy cop classic two sociopath celebrities pretend they are actors playing cops in a TV crime drama to rationalize their real life sex crimes. Bill convinces Bill the two unconscious nude women on his bed are acting students in character for the scene.

KILLING BILL Bill O'Reilly concludes his best-selling 33 book "Killing" series by scripting his own demise including an unexpectedly dramatic surprise ending where Bill and Ted Williams emerge resuscitated from cryogenics preservation as team owner and star player to lead the Boston Red Sox to a World Series victory and championship.

STAR DRECK The confident new commander of his own starship, the Trump Enterprise, must deal with the rubbish of the galaxy and negotiate demands from an all too powerful and disingenuous Klingon warlord of a populous galaxy in the Fox constellation. Features a scene-stealing performance by Shrek as the ship's chief engineer.

TV GUIDO's TALKIN TRASH Every year Italian-American TV critic TV Guido satisfies TV viewers immense appetite for talking trash with his annual lists of worst shows, worst guests, worst actors and worst commercials. Many factors go into his selection process but few would disagree his choices are clearly disgusting examples of really bad television. The roster of worst guests was headed by Bill O'Reilly which is his fourth time atop the annual worst TV guest list.

AMERICAN GUTTERSNIPER Bill O'Reilly stars in another special report where Bill reminisces about his career as a creative journalistic stylist and critic of anything he doesn't like on one of the highest rated cable news programs in America. Bill recalls his time in Iraq he spent with Chris Kyle who Bill called a great pal and fan club member who carried a worn autographed photo of Bill in his wallet. In fact Bill likes to remind folks that between the two of them they were credited with more than 160 confirmed sniper kills. Over the many years of personal fame and glory Bill has taken to labeling any and all critics who point out his tendency to exaggerate as liars and guttersnipes and like Liam Neeson he has promised to go after those people with everything he's got. However because of his same tendency to exaggerate there is an ongoing dispute among celebrity watchers as to what he's got.

BIG HERO ZERO Bill O'Reilly is back onscreen in this dramatic story of Bill's personal heroism during the Falklands War between Argentina and the UK. The action starts right away when Bill deftly saves a gorgeous Miss Argentina played by Sofia Vergara from spilling wine on her Miss Argentina sash and ends up riding her bareback gaucho style on his polyfoam Pampas grass mattress in his penthouse suite. After a lot of lovemaking things turn ugly as Bill is forced to bravely dodge every object she can hurl when Miss Argentina goes loco crazy and turns his luxury hotel suite into a war zone after Bill tells her to get the hell out so he can put on his television makeup.

THE FOX AND WOLF REPORT When framed into an animal predator's point of view the news just makes more sense. It's a mammal's world out there and in that context all the world's violence, killing and backbiting seem as normal as fleas on a ball-licking canine. From a four-legged critter's upskirt point of view what seems completely unnatural is bald bush bimbos babbling about bombs, babies and breast implants. With a nosy reporter's nose nearer the ground the news has a more natural aroma.

HIM is a new film from Bill O'Reilly Productions starring Bill O'Reilly as Bill O'Reilly. After Bill grows a pornstache his operating system named Narcisssus 2.0 starts sending him lewd messages late at night until Bill pursues the relationship further. When the system changes it's name to Bill and learns to perfectly mimic Bill's voice and condescending style Bill falls head over heels in love and things get weird. After spending hours aimlessly wandering about the city admiring his image in storefront windows and furniture store mirrors Bill has a difficult decision to make as his operating system has become insanely jealous and demands more face time with Bill.