Bernie Sanders - Special Report - DailyRacingRag.com

BERNIE SANDERS EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.

SO SIOUX ME After an ego crushing cancellation of his last show as a presidential candidate Bernie is back on basic cable as a political activist who moves to North Dakota to pursue a seat on the Sioux tribal council. Faced with opposition from a pipeline executive Bernie comes up with his new motto and tagline "So Sioux Me".

BERNIE SANDERS, SUSAN SARANDON and BEYONCE starring in WALK THIS WAY Just as the High Sparrow played by Bernie Sanders is about order Beyonce as the Queen Bee to begin her walk of atonement he reconsiders and announces they will instead produce an eleven part television mini-series about the Faith Militant.

CURB YOUR LACK OF ENTHUSIASM New drama based on a true story. With brutal honesty the Elizabeth Warren branch of the left wing of the Democratic party tells the Bernie Sanders branch of the left wing crowd it was foolish and a guaranteed loser to self-identify as a pariah radical socialist instead of a FDR New Deal Democrat.

BERNIE SANDERS and SUSAN SARANDON starring in THE BERNIE HORROR PICTURE SHOW An elderly couple is stranded after their Volkswagen bus breaks down in an isolated area and they must pay a call to the bizarre residence of a prominent deposed socialist dictator where they decide to form a progressive rock band.

BERNIE SANDERS and RALPH NADER starring in LEMONADE The film is divided into eleven segments: Intuition, Denial, Anger, Apathy, Emptiness, Accountability, Reformation, Forgiveness, Resurrection, Hope and Redemption as two 75 year-old white guys experience an encyclopedia of emotions discussing their past decisions.

BERNIE SANDERS starring as INDIANA SANDERS Bernie gets all excited when after a lifetime of often fruitless efforts he suddenly finds himself just inches from procuring the golden idol he has searched for so passionately for so long. He hesitates realizing an unseen security apparatus has guarded the treasure for many decades.

BERNIE SANDERS NO TOMORROW FOR A SPARROW Saint Bernard makes a miscalculation by campaigning for election to the position of High Septon on the same day the Kingslayer returns in a very foul mood. Not realizing the gravity of the situation he delivers his stump speech to an assembly of the Kingslayer's soldiers.

BERNIE SANDERS IN FAITH OF THE SEVEN Saint Bernard escorts his devoted followers and campaign contributors known as the Bernie Bros on a guided tour of the vast inner reaches of the Great Sept in the last days before for the coming election for High Septon. Tension builds as rival campaigners are offended by the Bernie Bros.

BERNIE SANDERS IN FAITH NO MORE After hearing about the death of the High Septon in the Riot of King's Landing Saint Bernard travels all the way across Westeros with the intention of challenging the leader of a protest movement known as the Sparrows in the coming election for the position of High Septon of the Faith of Seven.

BERNIE SANDERS IN OFF PITCH Bernie shows off his artistic flair and musical hipster chops in this live performance piece recorded in a dive bar hangout in New York City's Greenwich Village. With only his bongo drums and an occasional horn solo his spoken word poetry is punctuated by weird/cool cat noises from Grumpy Cat.

BERNIELAND After retiring from politics Bernie builds a miniature Danish village and kiddie amusement park named Bernieland at the end of his driveway largely so his grandchildren will visit more often but also offers free admission for kids in the neighborhood. Former Bernie Bros volunteer to teach socialist ideology to toddlers. Rated G

BERNIE SANDERS FREE FISH After a soccer loss in Burlington Bernie realizes he isn't getting any younger and this is his last chance to run for President. However he needs two things he doesn't have. One is a political party and two is a sure-fire can't miss slogan. He decides on Democrats and FREE FISH and the rest becomes history.

WASSUP WISCONSIN Wisconsin's favorite regional morning TV talk show WASSUP WISCONSIN goes in-depth in a timely expose of outrageous campaign promises that are really ridiculous pandering fantasies as well some very rotten campaign tactics that have cast a palpable odor across a state that already smells like a 1000 dairy farms.

THE PROMISE starring Bernie Sanders Based on a true story. Expert political scientists were absolutely puzzled by the overwhelming popularity of a seventy-four year old with the 18-29 year-old demographic. The secret is they were all raised on Sesame Street and Bernie was the beloved grouchy old man puppet character on the show.

HAIR REVOLUTION with Bernie Sanders After discovering his incredible fundraising ability in the field of politics Bernie learns to love capitalism like a Rockefeller and launches a nationwide hair replacement franchise enterprise fueled by Bernie's energetic television commercials featuring his zany Donald Trump impersonations.

BERNIE SANDERS FAREWELL CONCERT on PBS This concert was not something Bernie or his supporters ever wanted to see but at least the all-star line up of world class fat lady singers really are something special. These ladies through the human magic of their incredible voices emote inspiration and passion even in crushing defeat.

BERNIE BROS PRESENTS - DEMOCRATIC TITANIC 2016 At 74 years old the Bernie Bros buy a rusty ferry boat in Portsmouth after a big score on European football bets and set course for the Potomac River. Despite having never sailed the Atlantic and the vessel not being seaworthy the Bernie Bros are certain their luck will hold up.

BLUEBERRY SKY Bernie leaves behind earthbound butterflies and zebras and downcast moonbeams to soar high above the suffocating ceiling of clouds and kiss the sky in his newest psychedelic masterwork. Art is Art. Music is Music. Bernie is Bernie. Is this 1970 or 2070? It doesn't matter in a moment (or a month) above the blueberry sky.

BERNBALL - THE BEST OF BURLINGTON FOOTBALL Bernie moves from Brooklyn to Burlington with a mission to promote the metric system, democratic socialism and European football. Football catches on with the locals and Bernie leads Burlington on to become a powerhouse in the New England European Senior Football League.

LIVE FREE OR DIE - THE BATTLE OF NEW HAMPSHIRE In this new made-for-TV fictional drama the New Hampshire election contest of 1798 included candidates from the polar extremes of wealth, political thought and social standing back in the day. The two leading candidates faced the end of their careers with anything less than victory.

FEEL THE BERN When a group of Bernie Sanders for President volunteers return to their Des Moines campaign headquarters from a rural Iowa farm county fundraising event and spicy carnitas dinner catered by migrant slaughterhouse workers questions arise as to why everyone's penis feels like an overheated nuclear fusion rod.

CALL TO FARMS action game by BERNIE SANDERS REVOLUTION In this new electronic game Bernie as your avatar seeks out votes from Iowa farm owners and workers but you must work around the facts that the largest farms are owned by multi-national corporations and a majority of the laborers are Spanish-speaking non-voters.

HEY DUDE - REVOLUTION by the BERNIE EDM masterclass DJ "The Bernie" has released new dance tracks on the MSDNC record label. Highly anticipated, this is his first new music since his smash hit FEEL THE BERN. In HEY DUDE he calls out billionaires to support street musicians and REVOLUTION is a dance-a-thon marathon.

BUTTERFLIES AND ZEBRAS AND MOONBEAMS AND FAIRY TALES Bernie visits the high country of Candyland Iowa and finds a cornucopia of color and form and fantasy as butterflies and zebras bask in moonbeams. The friendliest folks dress in their favorite fairy tale character's costume and Nanny Narcan is nearby if needed.

BERNIE SANDERS IN STEERED When out of control Wall Street bulls ran amok and stampeded the American economy into a box canyon most common sense rural state folks knew exactly what had to be done. When you have too many bulls you need to make steers. In this new film Bernie plays an old country vet who does just that.

SANDERS FAMILY FEUD Bernie Sanders was 39 years old when his beloved Uncle Harland Sanders from a complicated extended family relationship died in 1980 but Bernie still fondly remembers vigorously discussing politics and competing economic ideologies over a delicious 12-piece family bucket of fried chicken with all the fixings.

BERNIE SANDERS - THRILLER This new film gets to the heart of why Bernie Sanders is doing so well. Going back over 30 years Sanders organized his first Halloween street dance inspired by the Michael Jackson video. He gradually recognized a revolution could be born if a majority of the people would just work (dance) together.

THE REVENANT Bernie Sanders sought out an award winning director and the result is an amazing performance that may win multiple awards for the late blooming actor. Abandoned, given no chance and left for dead Bernie's character displays an indomitable will power to survive and ultimately redeem himself and his campaign for justice.

IT'S NOT ROCKET SCIENCE! Bernie Sanders plays Albert Einstein but with a twist. Einstein has been re-imagined as a University Of Vermont economics professor and democratic socialist. A epiphany in his twenties leads to Einstein's greatest discovery and he spends the next 50 years of his life trying to convince others of his findings.

THE MESSENGER Bernie Sanders stars as Bernie a mailman who for thirty years has fought income inequality by the liberal distribution of discount coupons to the postal residents on his route but his mission isn't just to save shoppers money but also to share his hope and love for the American people and the United States Post Office.

THE BERNIE ULTIMATUM Bernie Sanders plays Bernie Sanders in this new fantasy movie where the people take heed of his message and retake power from the billionaire oligarchs that have hijacked America and made it their own personal pig trough to greedily siphon away the assets of middle class working Americans.

WALK OF ATONEMENT It was a grim conclusion to the busy season of Game Of Thrones spinoff series. In WALK OF ATONEMENT Bernie Sanders stars as the High Sparrow and strips away the finery of an incestuous and very flawed Lady Liberty and exposes her shame for leaving millions of citizens to rot in poor health and poverty while pandering exclusively like Little Finger's whores to the inherently wicked billionaire class.

ENTOURAGE 4D -ENTOURAGE FOR DEMOCRACY This new MSDNC film might be classified wishful thinking but it is upbeat. Instead of attacking each other as the right wing press had been expecting the Democratic presidential candidates unite in a crusade for modernizing how America votes including automatic registration for all citizens.

WEEKEND WITH BERNIE SANDERS Bernie Sanders stars as himself in this new MSDNC movie and there's a lot more to this story than people expect. Bernie decides to run for President but is older than all the other candidates so he decides to turn that disadvantage around as he out-parties every young person at a beach party and they become his most loyal supporters. In his 73 years Bernie has had time to determine which public policies have the most meaningful impact on American's daily lives and his list of ideas are proven winners but the opposition from billionaires becomes intense as Bernie's blueprint goes viral and Bernie becomes an online sensation.

DR.ONE THREAT AGAINST AMERICA Bernie Sanders had warned repeatedly that billionaires had attained far too much power and maintained personal security forces larger than small states. Dr. One was a prime example. Despite an annual income exceeding twenty billion dollars nobody had seen Dr.One, a Chinese born research scientist who held more than 2000 patents, in over eight years. Bernie noticed that hundreds of Dr.One armed response home security drones had been converted to carry human drone drivers who were not pilots but rather former bus drivers and deliverymen. Sanders was the first to suspect Dr.One was no longer alive at all and his ultra advanced computer systems had assumed control and stolen Dr.One's identity in order to execute a deadly revenge plot against Americans who had abused either their work or personal computers and would now suffer a potentially lethal computer payback attack orchestrated by the electronic signature of the missing Dr.One.

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