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Daily Racing Rag Special Report Paul Ryan EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.
SUPER NONUTS Donut shop owner Mitch is a mild mannered Kentuckan with a peanut allergy who refuses to move into the 20th century by updating the donut menu with trendy items or nuts. Comedy situations arise as new employee Paul tries to convince timid Mitch they should both go into politics.
TRUMPCARE Episode 2 - SUICIDE HOTLINE Republicans ar giddy about one provision in their TRUMPCARE bill that reduces regulations and saves money. By simply attaching a Do Not Resuscitate sticker to your suicide note taxpayers are saved a potential major expense in case your attempt fails.
TRUMPCARE In this new drama series Paul Ryan stars as the spokesperson for the long awaited roll out of the Trumpcare plan which is the Republican solution to the serious problem of excessive unused morgue space that they blame for driving up costs for the typical health insurance purchaser.
PROFILES IN COWARDICE - DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE King Donald sends word of his displeasure with colonists demanding independence and threatens the lives of his agents known as Republicans and confiscates their properties in England. They quickly offer apologies and draft a declaration swearing their loyalty to the King.
JOIN THE MUTINY Paul Ryan stars as a severely conflicted spokesperson for a very evil and very large multi-national corporation. A job which forces him to tell lethal lies with almost every press release, news conference or TV appearance. He secretly signals the underground as his guilt consumes him and his life is put in very real danger.
HOW TO TALK TO WOMEN WITHOUT ANSWERING 1001 BITCHY QUESTIONS is the Republican National Committee's video solution to endless charges of GOP insensitivity. From the "war on women to "legitimate rape" to "vaginal probes" the GOP has become the enemy of women's groups and activists nationwide. RNC Chairman Prince Rapebus decided he'd heard too many angry feminists ranting about sexism so he issued some suggested tips for GOP candidates that Paul Ryan covers here. The video suggestions include only talking to FOX news females knowing that all FOX female anchors work for Rupert Murdoch and are only authorized to parrot Murdoch's personal opinions on any subject. That means softball questions for GOP candidates. Ryan also says it makes it much easier if candidates picture the chest of Murdoch instead of hot female news anchors when speaking about womens issues on FOX. And above all never mention the word rape because similar to racism if you aren't complaining about it on FOX it doesn't exist.
Ryan To Be Rewarded By Billionaire Koch Brothers! Ryan works to make billionaire's budget dreams come true. Republicans in the House have ruled out any balanced approach to reducing the federal budget deficit so Paul Ryan proposed anew his rejected budget plan that was defeated by the voters and includes yet another attempt to repeal Obamacare. The billionaire Koch brothers are so impressed with the determination with which Ryan continues to promote a healthcare death sentence for tens of millions that they are considering renaming a new brand of toilet tissue for rugged outdoor use by the millions of new homeless folks that will be created if Ryan and the Republicans succeed in making billionaire dreams come true. February 28, 2013. Paper Products Report
Ryan rewarded by billionaire Koch Brothers.
Disaster Gives Tagg's Career A Boost! Paul Ryan and Tagg Romney to tour Sandy disaster areas for awesome photos ops! Paul Ryan's photographers have gotten great footage of Ryan with his broom pretending to help clean up storm damage. The area behind the Romney compound had previously been cleaned up but that was where the director wanted to shoot because of good lighting. The big news for Tagg was that he has booked performances at several benefit concerts to be held in Republican leaning counties that sustained storm or flood damage. Tagg was delighted and says this is just the break his singing career needed and finally he can now be accepted for his true talent. Tagg says he's inspired by his Dad who also has been striving for superstar status his entire life. November 1, 2012. FOX Music & Boobs News
Disaster gives Tagg's career a boost.
Ryan's Vagina Monologue! Wants government control of all vaginas during child bearing years. The election of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan will be the beginning of the end in regards to freedom of choice for women. Ryan was emphatic in his opposition to women's right to control their own bodies in the Vice Presidential debate. Vice President Joe Biden strongly defended a woman's right to choice. The contrast could not be more clear. Women's right to control their own bodies is on the ballot. October 11, 2012. Republican Vagina Monologues
Ryan insists on control of women's vaginas!
Shrugs Turn To Boos! Ryan booed by old white people! How an all white conservative Presidential ticket can alienate a crowd of old white conservatives isn't easy but Paul Ryan has done it as he was booed repeatedly while speaking at the American Association of Retired Persons convention. Recent polls show that the Romney Ryan ticket has lost a 35 point lead among seniors with their plan to destroy Medicare and Medicaid. It has become a fact that seniors like everything about Obamacare except the name Obamacare. The popular provisions of the Affordable Care Act are now the law and seniors and all beneficiaries don't want Romney or Ryan taking those benefits away. September 26, 2012. Who Got Booed Monthly
Ayn Ryan booed by AARP!
Ryan Was Lyin'! Paul Ryan sets modern record for number of zombie lies in one political speech.
Paul Ryan inexplicably destroyed his credibility with dozens of whoppers. Fact checking organizations have never been so busy issuing statements about the incredible number of lies Ryan knowingly made in his speech at the Republican National Convention. Ryan surpassed any and all recent convention speeches for total number of lies, distortions, deceptions, and so many of his false statements had already been debunked and labeled zombie lies. Ryan paid no attention to the truth or to facts and his hypocrisy was an unprecedented insult to the intelligence of all voters. August 30, 2012. False And Fiction News
Paul Ryan sets modern record for number of lies in one speech.
The Ayn Ryan Plan! It was Mom's idea all along! Paul Ryan's mother, Ayn Ryan, who long ago loved those novels by her namesake, author Ayn Rand, appeared on the Ryan campaign stage and invigorated her son as he beamed in his mother's adoration and went on to blast away with what everyone knew was nonsense but it didn't matter. Ryan was a home run with the wealthy Republican seniors of The Villages Yacht Club.
August 19, 2012. The Ayn Ryan Report
Ayn Ryan Plan.
The Deal Maker! Ryan insisted on a Romney promise to try to get kid toys put back in his favorite happy meals before accepting VP nod! Paul Ryan says Michele Obama's campaign to promote children eating healthy foods has robbed youngsters of really cool toys and hurt fast food corporate profits as millions of obese children could be much fatter. Romney presented Ryan with an awesome scale model die cast Wienermobile and an amazing genuine Star Wars collectible and Ryan was sold. August 17, 2012. The Fridge Report
Ryan insisted Romney campaign to put kid toys be back in happy meals before accepting nod.
Record Review - Gutsy Folk - Mitt Makes Music! Republicans counting on catchy patriotic themed jingles to win over clueless independent voters and amnesia victims! This record may not top the Billboard charts but if anything can bring back old-time barbershop harmonies it's the gawd-awful flat tone wailings on this far right freaking disaster. August 17, 2012. Politics & Music Magazine
Romney Ryan Records and Republican National Casinos releases Romney Ryan record.
Republican Convention Preview! Santorum, Gingrich, Palin, Perry and Jindal snubbed. Rick Santorum, Newt Gingrich and the three most famous Republican politicians to endorse Newt in his failed primary run against Mitt Romney have all been denied a chance to address the GOP convention. Payback is a bitch in politics. Also excluded were John McCain, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney as Republicans don't like to be reminded of their history of abysmal failures. August 15, 2012. News Preview Network
GOP convention preview.
Heckuva Job, Brownie! The Ryan Plan betrays every American under the age of 55 in order to pander to, ass-kiss and brown-nose old white billionaires who finance old white tea party extreme right wingnuts and their America-killing greed and anarchy. Notorious traitor Benedict Arnold and biggest brown-noser Paul Ryan have much in common but the GENERATIONAL TREASON in the Ryan Plan robs countless millions of Americans of the benefits that Ryan's Koch Brother sugar daddies currently enjoy. That is shit on Ryan's nose but eager-to-please Paul calls it brown sugar. READ MORE August 14, 2015. Traitor Joe's Weekly
Paul Ryan was named biggest brown-noser by classmates.
Ryan Boosts Romney Share Price! Until Romney chose Ryan he was tanking. Paul Ryan has given the Romney share price a boost but it is still far from the Obama price and Obama remains the heavy favorite of people who have bet money on the horse race. In-trade betting has for many years been the most accurate predictor of U.S. election winners. August 13, 2015. Bet Line News
Ryan Plan Is A Vulture Capitalist's Dream Come True! Privatization of Social Security and converting Medicare into a private insurance shuffle will make millions of senior's assets easy pickings for financial vultures. Many of those vultures were personally inspired by Mitt Romney's incredible accumulation of other peoples money. The yearly income tax savings to Romney from the Ryan Plan would be enormous and one tax expert concluded that Mitt Romney could not have written a bill more beneficial for himself. READ MORE August 15, 2015. More Amazing Tax Tactix
Ryan Plan is a vulture capitalist's dream come true.
Ryan Plan Postcard From The Future! Homeless full time employees can afford to rent brightly colored deluxe pup tents to sleep and live in after business hours. Toilet priveleges are extended 30 minutes before opening and after closing daily in exchange for fewer breaks during the 12 hour workday. United Nations medical technicians visit semi-annually to provide employee healthcare. READ MORE August 12, 2015. Bet Line News
Paul Ryan plan postcard from the future.
Romney Picks Boy Wonder As Running Mate! Just in time to divert spotlight from Bain Capital and Romney's tax cheating years. Now the billionaires choice campaign will pose in a self-satisfied smug manner like never before. Their self-delusion of being heroic champions has been greatly magnified and all Republicans will now be forced by mandatory decree to drink the radical right-wing tea party poison that RUPERT MURDOCH-WALL STREET JOUNAL-FOX NEWS has been brainwashing cable-tv Republicans with for over a decade of beyond-Orwellian deep psyche propaganda. August 10, 2012. Who Needs Proof?
Romney chooses Paul Ryan for running mate.
Trump Dumps On GOP Budget Plan! "The public will NOT buy that crap!" The Donald went on to call Paul Ryan politically naive and said if Mitt Romney embraces the Ryan budget plan too closely he will guarantee the reelection of President Obama. When asked about any specific ingredients in the Republican formulated budget that make it so unpalatable Trump called the whole plan a "recipe for disaster". April 11, 2012. Trump Restaurant Review
Trump dumps on GOP budget plan!
Don't Eat The Chocolate! Poisonous GOP budget plan unbelieveably offers more tax breaks for billionaires at the expense of seniors and poor people. The Republican budget plan is a despicable betrayal of American ideals. It amounts to institutionalized grand theft of taxpayer dollars to benefit billionaires who own the Republican party outright. All their traitorous billionaire minions called Republican legislators have sold their souls to be busboys and serving winches for the ruling billionaire elite and it should make you sick. Democracy in America has never been so close to death as the wealthy are now in charge of deciding what is right and wrong and the American people get no more respect than insects. Many folks now just want to say Fuck You GOP, your members of Congress are evil despicable cowards.
March 30, 2012. Armageddon Comics
Don't eat the chocolate!
GOP Adopts Mayan Calendar! House Republicans play for end of the world. Republicans say the world will end if President Obama is re-elected and claim the Mayan calendar backs them up. Many Republicans fear this election may be their last chance at the glory of victory. March 30, 2012. End Of Days Party News
GOP adopts Mayan calendar!
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