Vladimir Putin - Special Report - DailyRacingRag.com

THE GIFT Who knew a long ago billion dollar bailout would come back to haunt the shortsighted American conman? Who knew what Vladimir wanted with all those teen models? Who knew why he now wanted babies as the gift required to prove the American conman's eternal fealty and gratitude?

DONOR CLASS In this tense drama a corrupt former politician facing huge debts and double alimony payments plus a very expensive new girlfriend is manipulated by Russian spymasters to betray his country and every patriot who fought and died for America just to satisfy his pathetic petty needs.

ASSETTE Under the guidance of Russia's master of spycraft Maria graduates from Russia's Red Sparrow Spy School and is sent to America to infiltrate the National Rifle Association and have sex with every bald headed fat fuck Republican in Washington D.C. which she does with relative ease.

RED DOG After a spoiled untrainable mentally unstable dog is abandoned by his Nazi owner a smiling Russian KGB agent takes in Red Dog to help with rodent control at a secret Siberian prson but the two develop a lifelong friendship and Red Dog gradually becomes a loyal lovable and obedient pet.

THE VOICE OF PUTIN - FOX NEWS With Rupert Murdoch as Vladimir Putin's most valuable human asset in the West, Putin makes an ego pleasing documentary about his domination of Western media through Murdoch and his brilliantly successful strategy to hijack America's Presidential elections.

PUTIN & PET POODLES After exploiting Rupert Murdoch's bitter third ex-wife, Vladimir Putin threatens to expose ruinous criminal dirt in eight different countries on the ancient Australian oligarch unless Fox and Friends wear poodle ears and sing praises to Putin and report any story Putin wants on FOX.

MOSCOW NIGHTS Still groggy from a wild golden shower orgy in the Presidential suite the night before Donald Trump accepts an offer from Steven Seagal to attend a benefit gala to celebrate WWII heroes only to discover they were saluting KGB officers who killed American spys in the Cold War.

THE NUTSACKER Tchaikovsky's brilliant and memorable score backs a retelling of a retelling of the classic NUTCRACKER but as the NUTSACKER featuring the heads of state of Russia, China, North Korea and Donald Trump representing America in a classic seen best with your eyes tightly closed.

PUTIN FAKEBOOK SPECIAL Called the most successful Russian covert intelligence operation since the Cold War, Putin state television put together a three part special to celebrate how Putin ratfucked America good by manipulating useful idiots with Facebook fake news that gullible Americans shared.

BANNED BY FACEBOOK in the third inning of a tense ballgame on Russia Day home plate umpire Mark Zuckerberg ejects the entire DailyRacingRag ballclub from the game for posting unflattering comments and photos of honored guest Vladimir Putin on the stadium's Diamond Vision scoreboard.

HELL RIDE Pootie couldn't believe his luck. This was the easiest thing he ever did and Satan was certain to give him a big bonus for delivering the dim-witted douchebag sleazeball President running the former superpower United States whose electorate is now the laughingstock of the entire world.

SINGING IN THE RAIN Pootie and his billionaire pals are riding high what with everything going their way. So much so that they bust out in joyful song and dance. Not even darkened midday skies and toxic yellow rain can dampen their spirits as they celebrate the prospect of even more personal wealth.

'MURICA - LOVE IT OR LEASE IT In 2019 America has finally accepted having an authoritarian strongman in charge but President Trump makes the mistake of leasing the U.S. military to Pootie who quickly seizes the White House in a coup and murders Trump and all ranking administration members.

HACKED Pootie has a fraudulent shell corporation purchase an American retail electronics franchise in an upper class Virginia neighborhood where hundreds of top secret government employees reside and installs undetectable spyware on more than 4500 laptops compromising national security.

FABULIST FOUR Pootie Putin, Benedict Donald, Julian "Assman" Assange and Sean "Pancake" Hannity star in the best movie ever made. Every word of dialog is expertly designed deceptive dishonesty led by Pootie the Prince of Prevarication but all four fabricating falsifiers are Fabulist Hall of Famers.

THE MYSTERIOUS NESTING DOLLS OF NOSTRADAMUS While deciphering the coded prophecies of Nostradamus is both an art and a science his collection of nesting dolls offer the best proof yet that Nostramdamus was a time traveler from the future who became stranded in a time 400 years ago.

GOOD BEHAVIOR - CAUGHT ON CAMERA Top Bun sends his best diplomatic asset only to have the ploy backfire when Pootie secretly videotapes the negotiations with the nude photo model turned diplomat who has unknowingly given Pootie even more leverage and a rise in his personal poll.

PUTIN'S LIL BITCH Russian TV does not worry about offending Americans because "What do they know? We're speaking in Russian". This show follows that tradition with merciless ridicule of an American billionaire buffoon who is known all across Russia by the nickname of Putin's Lil Bitch.

TRUMPY - THE DUMBASS SPY DOG Trumpy was last in his class at KGB Canine Academy and no one thought he could be useful to the Motherland but Commander Pootie, a real dog lover, was certain he had an assignment that required little intelligence and would produce valuable information.

TWINS Winning every competition had always been the only rule these two moral midgets understood and while both had accumulated and stashed billions of dollars Vlady had a big lead in the human body count inspiring a jealous Donny to pledge to creating a record number of new bodies next year.

A BIG PUSSY FOR PUMPKIN She was born in the fall so Vladimir named her Pumpkin and she is his favorite daughter and he regrets killing her mother whenever he sees her smile. So when Pumpkin wants a big pussy for her birthday Pootie goes out and gets a terrific great really big pussy for Pumpkin.

POOTIE TANG Thanks to working together Pootie and Donnie become the two coolest cats in the cat box so when Pootie learns Donnie drinks Tang for breakfast he throws a party to celebrate renaming their partnership Pootie Tang and making a trilogy of Pootie Tang movies to distribute worldwide.

GOP - GIRLFRIENDS OF PUTIN Pootie can't believe how easy it is to do espionage in America as Republicans are helping him more than his Russian agents who frequently joke over Trump vodka that Republicans are like ovulating female elephants in heat hoping to hop on Pootie's pachyderm penis.

THE PUPPET MASTER The most decorated operative of Russian intelligence services receives the nations highest award for his brilliant manipulation of the American election including facial surgery that allowed him to deceive everyone in Trump Tower and have sex with Melania to win a bet with Putin.

IN LIKE FLYNN It was like somebody had hacked his Ashley Madison account because when Lt. Gen. Flynn met Vladimir Putin they hit it off like brothers from another mother. Hate terrorists... check! Hate Muslims... check! Hate blacks... check! Hate gays... check! Hate Obama... check! Love torture... check! Love Trump... check!

WHO IS YOUR POPOV? is a new comedy vehicle for actor Vince Vaughn who plays a homesick American expatriate with a big heart living on his small yacht cruising the Mediterranean with a beautiful Italian fashion model. His fortunes change instantly after he wins big in the Spanish Lottery and decides to go to Russia to adopt a child at the first official orphan auction of abandoned babies born to prostitutes at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi. Vaughn notices how similar all the orphans look and investigates.

LEOPOLD DANIELSKY'S THE PUTLER is a new movie set to premiere on the FOX WHITE CHANNEL. This fictionalization of a true story won the Putinzer Prize for masterful deception and presents a fantastical spin on presumably a true story if you are able to suspend belief for the entire one hour and twelve minutes running time. Charles K. Hammersickle narrates and Tea Party TV critics gave it a rating of 3 rattler coils.

REDDICK - THE RAND IDENTITY is currently airing in Russia on RPT-TV and is an unusally timely TV movie based on a true story. "Masterful acting, charisma and presence" writes Petyr Blononov, Moscow film critic who insists there has never been a gay actor in Russian musical theatre and there's nothing remotely gay about having a little pointy American man between Putin's legs.

JEDI JIHAD is a film presentation of state owned Syria Gas and is showing on state owned SANA-TV but that doesn't limit the drama and suspense. Putin's character is quickly established as a clinical sociopath and al-Assad's character is obviously a clinical psychopath so the need for lengthy character development is limited and the plot unfolds rapidly. Putin's Jedi lawyer connives a Jihad of a public relations campaign to defend his belligerent client but the dark shadow of serious payback looms for the mass murdering al-Assad. The surprise ending can best be described as an intergalactic shocker.

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