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 DENNIS HASTERT EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive. |
 | MISTER SPEAKER The artist who secretly painted a shadow of Monica Lewinsky's dress into the official Bill Clinton portrait has done it again. After more than six years curators finally noticed the head of a teenage wrestler painted near Speaker Hastert's zipper. A major TV special will reveal the inside story of this painting and reveal a new secret message hidden in still another politician's official portrait. |
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| COACH The popular sit com returns to TV starring Dennis Hastert. The unveiling of a brand new $500,000 larger than life bronze statue is delayed while Coach struggles to contain the PR damage when it is revealed he was once a child molester. |
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