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Daily Racing Rag Special Report GEORGE W. BUSH EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.
THE CHOCOLATIERS In a world of chocolate anyone could be remade. In this world rewriting history was as easy as a few hours in the kitchen and had become a way of life for an entire population too lazy and too distracted to care about truth or accuracy. Failed leaders were recast as delicious and declared great and popular successes despite miserable results and disrespect when they were in power. Everyone knew the country was headed for a meltdown they just didn't know when.
FIFTY GRADES OF KUSH In a sequel to THE PAINTER the image of Jeb Bush's disgraced brother and former failed President George continues with the softening glow of an airbrush. This time a puppy dog face George is disheartened when Laura tells him his paintings look like a third grader's and he should give up painting and do something useful. On the advice of his painting instructor a desperate George takes Laura to the big city on Valentine's Day and has his Secret Service agent score some marijuana. After Laura gets stoned George blindfolds her with a blue silk tie and disappears into the bedroom. Laura slips out of her dress and sighs deep in anticipation of a passionate surprise. George brings several of his newest paintings out of the bedroom suite and tells Laura she can take off the blindfold now. After George asks Laura's opinion of his new paintings Laura asks for a divorce and more weed.
THE PAINTER This new GOP Films/FoxWhite movie is actually a by-the-numbers political multi-tasker presented as family viewing. In the run up to Jeb's 2016 Presidential campaign his political advisers have told him they must soften the image of his brother George, the disgraced President and alleged war criminal who drove the U.S. economy into a ditch during his nightmare two-term presidency. They decided the warm and fuzzy image of a slightly detached but lovable old painter was the best propaganda vehicle available to do the job and this movie was conceived and written for that express purpose. Surprisingly this little film fills the bill and provides a pleasant if somewhat saccharine diversion.
PARALLEL UNIVERSE In our world on our planet people are mystified as to how former President George W. Bush is able to skip through life with a happy face painting pictures, riding his bicycle, playing with toys and even writing a sweet as sugar fantasy book about his dear old Texan daddy. However, in one or maybe more of infinite parallel universes a much darker "W" is a deeply troubled man haunted by nightmares and hallucinations. Holed up like a hermit George refuses to leave his recreational vehicle flying saucer and has stopped communicating with wife Laura. Loyal and loving as she is Laura stays with George but becomes sexually attracted to the pizza delivery guy played by Channing Tatum who can't believe his luck as she's been ordering three times a week and always tips a $50 bill.
ICC WAR CRIMES delves into brutal war crimes and is easily the most depressing reality show on television. Viewed worldwide on a multitude of networks the show is produced by the International Criminal Court War Crimes Tribunal an entity that the United States refuses to accept has authority over U.S. citizens for reasons that become evident in the first episode. For former President and now celebrated artist George W. Bush life is all unicorns and butterflies until he is nabbed in a high stakes sting operation. Accepting a royal invitation to exhibit his paintings in the kingdom of Luxembourg a devastated Bush is arrested minutes after he crosses the border into a signatory country of the ICC treaty. Bush had dismissed the voluminous indictment of war crimes relating to the illegal invasion of Iraq as forgotten but the recent disintegration of the Iraqi state rekindled an international clamor for Bush's arrest and trial. Networks expect the highest ratings in TV history for Bush's upcoming trial which will be televised worldwide from the Hague. Check your local listings.
DALLAS PAINTERS CLUB is a new feelgood historical rewrite movie that is as cozy and warm as a Prozac high with a Valium kicker. George Watercolor Bush after a stint in a Dallas hospital psychiatric ward discovers a hidden passion for painting. At first his paintings are primitive primal screams like Osama Bin Laden with a clown face but as his passion grows George starts painting his favorite dogs and people. George tells counselors painting has changed his life and especially his love life as painting Laura Bush in the nude has triggered erections like nothing seen since his college cheerleading days.
FROM THE BRUSH OF BUSH Part 2 is the second installment in this continuing series on West Texas Public Television BBS We Got The Sauce in which former President George W. Bush paints pictures. In the premiere episode after returning from Mandela's funeral in South Africa Bush started painting the animals of Africa. In part 2 Bush gets personal and paints people including world leaders, friends and family including fantasy bathroom paintings. Although some were shocked and puzzled most art critics agree the former President's bathroom paintings are his best works and despite being bizarre his shower with Vladimir Putin painting is definitely a mind blowing work of art.
FROM THE BRUSH OF BUSH Part 2 is the second installment in this continuing series on West Texas Public Television BBS We Got The Sauce in which former President George W. Bush paints pictures. Bush's painting most often called his masterpiece is apparently a bathtub wet dream with Kim Kardashian.
ART OF AFRICA - FROM THE BRUSH OF BUSH is an upcoming series on West Texas Public Television BBS We Got The Sauce in which former President George W. Bush paints pictures of his favorite sights in Africa. In the premiere episode Bush after returning from Nelson Mandela's funeral in South Africa starts oil painting 16 hours a day to prepare for this public TV series. After learning from his accountant that he can get hefty tax deductions by donating his paintings to charity events Bush quips he's finally succeeded in making money from a Texas oil business.
MONKEYANGELO - THE CREATION OF GEORGE is the latest animated television cartoon from the Messianic Monkey Bible Institute (MMJBI), a curious jungle based sect of monks who believe monkeys were created by God before man. They believe their sacred Messianic Monkey Bible was stolen and destroyed to prevent the second coming of Monkeyangelo before the Rapture. Only on FOX RELIGION CHANNEL.
The Scandal Channel continues it's series of investigations into unsubstantiated Presidential scandals that have generally been dismissed as false but who can say for certain? This episode looks into an allegation by a former luxury hotel butler involving secret meetings, ruined carpets and a four foot camel statue carved completely from butter and delivered by refrigerated truck after midnight.
THE BUTTER is scheduled to air this fall on the SCANDAL CHANNEL
THE SHOESHINE BOYS In this follow up to Lee Daniel's THE BUTLER Tracy Morgan takes a dramatic turn along with veteran actor Morgan Freeman as owners of the shoeshine stand that kept six President's shoes shined. After Morgan's character is busted buying cocaine from a Republican Congressman former President George H.W. Bush pulls strings to get him a job polishing shoes on the animatronic figures at his Presidential library at Texas A&M while his disappointed partner hangs up his shoe cloth.
Bush Rolls Out White Paper On Immigration Reform! Nobody wants to read it. Still unknown is what the former President's opinion of the Senate passed bill is because his treatise was oddly published on tissue thin bio-degradable paper rolled around a thin cardboard tube. July 10, 2013. Texas Tanker Monthly
Bush issues opinion on immigration bill.
Bush Library Statues Made In China! Bargain prices can't be beat. The manufacturer is a Chinese bronze factory that usually specializes in heroic statues for totalitarian states but jumped at the chance to showcase their works in the United States market. April 24, 2013.
Bush Library statues made in China.
Alternate Universe Bush Concedes To Having Many Regrets! Peace of mind elusive. In one of many parallel universes the Bushes have settled into a retirement regimen of travel, painting and flowers but the reality is that this alternate universe Bush is haunted by his many mistakes and is driven to travel and paint as his desperate soul searches to find peace before the eternal damnation he intuitively knows is coming. April 16, 2013. Parallel News Parallel News
Alternate Universe Bush concedes to having many regrets.
Iraq War Veterans Tear Down Statue At Bush Library Disgusted combat veterans more angry than ever! Thousands of veterans are still seething with anger over the lies the Bush administration told to start a war that was totally unnecessary and 100% the fault of a pathological lying liar President named George W. Bush and his egregious sociopath ego trip gone wild. March 25, 2013. The Despicable Lies Of W
Iraq War veterans tear down Bush statue.
GOP Ads Shelved! Republican turns out to be biggest fraud in U.S. history. Yes, George W. Bush assisted by a Republican Supreme Court stole the 2000 election but Bush's good buddy and fellow Republican, Lance Armstrong, also perpetrated a huge fraud, the biggest fraud in U.S sports history. All of Armstrong's cycling victories were erased due to doping charges. Another ad included Randy Travis who campaigned for George Bush but Randy just got fired from his gig at the Republican National Convention because of a recent rowdy drunk driving arrest. The ads were prepared to create warm and fuzzy feelings during the convention by showing endearing moments of past Republican Presidents but those moments have been hard to find for decades and copies of the only two ads created have now been confiscated and burned. August 22, 2012. Bad Ads Report GOP Ads Shelved!
Most Americans Still Blame Bush For Bad Economy! HBO apologizes for Bush head on a stick in "Game Of Thrones"! There's was no political intent when Bush's head was mounted on a pole right next to Ned Stark's after being beheaded by the bastard King Joffrey. The studio prop master apologized saying he only had a limited number of severed heads on hand. A just released poll found that a majority of Americans still say George W. Bush was a miserable failure as President and is still more responsible for the causes of America's struggling economy than President Obama. June 15, 2012. Prop Master Monthly
Bush head on stick in HBO Game Of Thrones
Bush Short On Pull! George W. Bush has little influence on GOP politics or anything else in 2012 Somewhat like a carnival attraction, the former President is now openly disparaged by Conservatives in the Republican party who realize what an utter disaster his Presidency was and how George W. Bush stupidly led America to the brink of financial ruin with poorly planned wars and crippling Bush tax cuts that were dishonestly financed by borrowing from the Chinese. Bush said history would be the judge and judging by his current diminished stature, history has given "W" a final grade of "F". April 13, 2012. Dismal History Digest
George W. Bush has little influence on GOP politics in 2012!
Bush Think Tank Ready To Roll! Think Tank will debut as mobile unit and tour West Texas until completion of building and service yard. Former President Bush is pleased the mobile think tank will tour West Texas because some real smart folks live in his hometown of Midland, which is where Bush started his political career. Groundbreaking for the permanent building to house the George W. Bush Library and Think Tank is tomorrow. November 15, 2010. Bush Temp Think Tank Service Yard SMU
Groundbreaking for the George W. Bush Library and Think Tank is Tuesday, Nov. 16, 2010
Bush Memoirs Bashed By Critics! Former German leader Schroeder says Bush is lying. Reviewers were almost universally harsh. "Fiction with a capital F", "Utterly false", "Out and out lies", "Completely untrue" and "Pure horseshit" were some of the reactions to Bush's attempt to rewrite history. Publishers may have assumed releasing the book one week after a big Republican victory would be good for sales and the airbrushing of a presidential legacy, however, Republican critics are also loudly bashing Dubya's unbelievable self-serving spin. George W. Bush has always had a natural ability to sell crap and the majority of reviewers say this book is a load. November 10, 2010. Discount Historical Book Of The Month Review
BUSH THE MOVIE in theatres soon.
Bush Book Blank On Frank Feud!
Which came first?... Barney, the ball-licking pet dog of President Bush or George, the jogging-obsessed pet pig owned by Representative Barney Frank.
The feud raged for years but was ignored due to mainstream media overexposure of the Bush era wars and natural disasters. One version of the history of the feud claims that President Bush would call his dog, Barney, a "shaggy little faggot" whenever Barney crapped on the White House carpet. So when Bush installed a jogging track on the White House grounds, openly gay Barney Frank brought a pig in a jogging suit named George. The feud continued until, while Frank was away on Congressional duties, his partner hired an Asian maid. The pig disappeared a few days later.
November 5, 2010. Jimmy Dean History Of Pork Museum
Barney Frank named his pig George after President Bush named his dog Barney.
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