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FOX NEWS EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.

PIRRO TALK Jeanine Pirro hosts a new late night talk show with adult conversation in mind. Pirro recounts here many adventures walking alone in the Westchester woods including the four times she had to shoot non-compliant penis flashers when they resisted her attempts to make a citizen's arrest.

THE VOICE OF PUTIN - FOX NEWS With Rupert Murdoch as Vladimir Putin's most valuable human asset in the West, Putin makes an ego pleasing documentary about his domination of Western media through Murdoch and his brilliantly successful strategy to hijack America's Presidential elections.

PUTIN & PET POODLES After exploiting Rupert Murdoch's bitter third ex-wife, Vladimir Putin threatens to expose ruinous criminal dirt in eight different countries on the ancient Australian oligarch unless Fox and Friends wear poodle ears and sing praises to Putin and report any story Putin wants on FOX.

OLD HANNITY When Young Hannity sold his soul to the devil Murdoch he had the energy of a 13 year-old with a massive erection but lying for a living completely sucked the life and all it's vital juices out of the FOX/Putin propagandist to the point his doctor warns "Sean your body is 56 going on 84".

BEAT SEAN'S BULLSHIT In this new game show host Sean Hannity plays videos of himself reporting fake and false news stories. Contestants armed with buzzers score points by being the first to freeze the video tape every time Hannity makes another false statement or refers to any fake news story.

FABULIST FOUR Pootie Putin, Benedict Donald, Julian "Assman" Assange and Sean "Pancake" Hannity star in the best movie ever made. Every word of dialog is expertly designed deceptive dishonesty led by Pootie the Prince of Prevarication but all four fabricating falsifiers are Fabulist Hall of Famers.

DOLT 45 - BOOT LICKER Milwaukee's former Sheriff Clarke high on Dolt 45 and scrambles frantically to lick every boot in the White House hoping for the position of FBI Director or a massive new federal deportation force. As his hopes fade he lands a job with Rupert Murdoch.

CHAFFIE Jason Chaffetz stars as a mechanized Republican robot politician who when faced with an out of control town hall confrontation in his district 3 acquires the ability to feel and think for himself. Puzzled by the new administration's actions he resigns to work for Rupert Murdoch.

MOTHER TUCKER SOCK MONKEY Tucker was already Rupert's puppet suck monkey so when he was chosen to replace a departing news anchor no one was surprised but the back story of Mother Tucker and how Mother Tucker raised her son to become a famous sock monkey is a barrel of laughs.

TWO BLACK HANNITYS This new comedy centers around the bastard twin sons of a white American journalist who impregnated their mother while visiting South Africa and their struggle to find the big break that might lead to a position reading the news and interviewing celebrities on South Africa's most popular television news station.

YOU DECIDE In this new game show on FOX WHITE audience members are polled about events of the day and contestants compete for cash prizes trying to correctly guess the audience's most typical response to a series of either or questions regarding politics, celebrities, scandals, gossip and outright lies. Every weekday at 2:30PM.

MASTERMIND THEATRE In every corner and crevice of the body of human knowledge and experience there have been visionary leaders we call masterminds. In this seasons premiere and extremely dark episode MASTERMIND THEATRE explores the masterminds of a brewing race war predicted to explode in a hate-filled America.

KILLING BILL Bill O'Reilly concludes his best-selling 33 book "Killing" series by scripting his own demise including an unexpectedly dramatic surprise ending where Bill and Ted Williams emerge resuscitated from cryogenics preservation as team owner and star player to lead the Boston Red Sox to a World Series victory and championship.

THE KELLYPHILE This NEWSPROOM style drama is fast paced and begins immediately after the network is inherited by the founder's oldest son. Th new boss aggressively implements a new approach and news anchor Megyn Kelly played by Megyn Kelly airs a series of special interview broadcasts in the nude and annihilates prior network rating records. The boss is so impressed he soon falls in love just like so many of her devoted fans nationwide.

MISS INFORMATION PAGEANT 2015 This annual event on the FOX WHITE CHANNEL is always eagerly awaited and this year should be no exception. Contestants compete to package truly ridiculous zombie lies in as attractive a package as imagination allows. FOX NEWS CHANNEL has dominated the event both in individual and team competitions since the first competition was hosted online in 2004.

LIARS CLUB The popular game show is back in a new form that includes multiple chances for online or TV watchers to join the fun and win cash prizes. Contestants are shown soundbites of actual lies real politicians, celebrities or commentators have made in the recent past. Then they must choose between four options (1) one pinocchio dirty white lie (2) two pinocchio bald-faced lie (3) three pinocchio egregous zombie lie or (4) four pinocchio slanderous libelous unforgivable bullshit. Players at home will be able to log in on multiple devices and play along with studio contestants in real time with the most perceptive players winning the prize money.

AMERICAN GUTTERSNIPER Bill O'Reilly stars in another special report where Bill reminisces about his career as a creative journalistic stylist and critic of anything he doesn't like on one of the highest rated cable news programs in America. Bill recalls his time in Iraq he spent with Chris Kyle who Bill called a great pal and fan club member who carried a worn autographed photo of Bill in his wallet. In fact Bill likes to remind folks that between the two of them they were credited with more than 160 confirmed sniper kills. Over the many years of personal fame and glory Bill has taken to labeling any and all critics who point out his tendency to exaggerate as liars and guttersnipes and like Liam Neeson he has promised to go after those people with everything he's got. However because of his same tendency to exaggerate there is an ongoing dispute among celebrity watchers as to what he's got.

RED STATES REPORT Right wing news and weather in red leather. In the ratings race one can't run in place. Megyn Kelly increases her cable news footprint with a weekly Saturday news special report focusing exclusively on Republican red states while wearing form hugging red leather.

FOXSNATCHER Despite being born with six arms and four eyes and struggling through an awkward childhood Foxsnatcher finds an opportunity and grabs it. A billionaire and five of his associates discover her skill at multitasking and put Foxsnatcher through a rigorous training program on his billionaire estate and sports center compound until one day in a triumphant moment of glory and climax Foxsnatcher claims the Women's World Wrestling Championship. This is the feel good movie of the year times six.

THE FOX AND WOLF REPORT When framed into an animal predator's point of view the news just makes more sense. It's a mammal's world out there and in that context all the world's violence, killing and backbiting seem as normal as fleas on a ball-licking canine. From a four-legged critter's upskirt point of view what seems completely unnatural is bald bush bimbos babbling about bombs, babies and breast implants. With a nosy reporter's nose nearer the ground the news has a more natural aroma.

BLACK PANZERS This new weekly action series is an inside look at the fictional inner workings of super villain Rupert Murdoch and his insidious plot to turn back time. The Black Panzers were created to put two black faces and a sexy hot white female body on his personal racial and political beliefs. Using modern psychiatric and advertising techniques the Black Panzers strike with military precision at any hint of resistance to the goal of minority voter suppression and the elimination of basic civil rights. Flashbacks to when the boy Murdoch hunted aboriginal peoples for sport provide insight into the fascinating mind of an evil mad man. Check your local listings.

ISIS IS COMING - FOR JUSTICE FOX WHITE'S own Judge Jeanine Pirro takes on her first major acting role with the same passion she's shown in her designated fearmonger role at FOX WHITE CHANNEL since the new "Feel The Fear" campaign began a few months ago. She not only delivers justice she rips terrorists still beating hearts right out of their chests in this campy comedy that's both sexy and brutally violent. Critics agree Judge Jeanine is smokin' hot as a vengeful goddess.

FOXHOLES - DEFENDING THE BORDER Outgoing Governor and 2016 Presidential hopeful Rick Perry and Sean Hannity team up to solve the child refugee crisis at the Texas border in what they call the Walker Texas Ranger Style of immediately booting the refugees all the way back to where they come from. Walker who once had a court order to stay away from his grandchildren says a big boot in the ass the only thing they understand since they don't speak English. In the premiere episode the duo destroy a church school bus in a covert ops action after they learn of a plot to move a group of refugee children away from the border.

THE POSSESSION is a creep fest hootenanny of horror starring Allan West as a disgraced Florida politician who after being dumped by his constituents, wife, church and VFW post sells his remaining 10% ownership in his soul to Rupert Murdoch for a new TV career where his role is to spew the least African-American sounding hate talk a black man can be utter on any subject. Problems arise when after moving into a new house his reflection in the living room mirror starts up an ominous conversation with a very self satisfied West who had just cashed another big paycheck from Murdoch. West's concerned reflection who is normally supportive warns West that Murdoch only subcontracts for the devil and that West will certainly face an unexpected balloon payment demand just when he least expects it. That dire message comes to pass and the consequences are severe as West is forced to start over as a fry cook at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

GEORGE WILL'S THIS WEEK IN WIGS AND PIGS debuted just three weeks after the successful launch of the new FOX WHITE SHOPPING CHANNEL which offers George Will's line of mens fashion wigs. This week George adds the Joni Ernst model to his wig line celebrating her win in the Iowa Republican Senate primary. Sarah Palin was instrumental in raising awareness to how large pig balls are and that Joni runs a terrific pig ball barbeque every Fourth of July holiday to raise money for the Sarah Palin Super PAC. The publicity paid off as George took 1800 wig orders in the first 12 hours after the episode. George offered prized praise for his fellow FOX WHITE employee suggesting her ability to make pigs give up their balls was more diabolically clever than the story behind the Oscar winning film "American Hustle".

FOX AFTER DARK DANCE PARTY is the first DVD to be released from season one of the smash reality series FOX AFTER DARK. This party is so much fun because these guys get hammered at the open bar with free drinks and really let go of their dickish on air personae. Already receiving rave reviews on this page the party has yet to stop. The episode where Megyn Kelly in a metallic miniskirt either sings or lip sync's to a crushing dance beat number entitled BENGHAZI BEAT is awe inspiring and contagious as hepatitis with a pulsating bottom end Megyn brings it home like ham on a holiday. It's amazing what alcohol does to the performers at this after hours party.

HIM is a new film from Bill O'Reilly Productions starring Bill O'Reilly as Bill O'Reilly. After Bill grows a pornstache his operating system named Narcisssus 2.0 starts sending him lewd messages late at night until Bill pursues the relationship further. When the system changes it's name to Bill and learns to perfectly mimic Bill's voice and condescending style Bill falls head over heels in love and things get weird. After spending hours aimlessly wandering about the city admiring his image in storefront windows and furniture store mirrors Bill has a difficult decision to make as his operating system has become insanely jealous and demands more face time with Bill.

FOX WHITE SHOPPING CHANNEL PRESENTS GEORGE WILL'S WORLD OF WIGS is the first item of business on the new FOX WHITE SHOPPING CHANNEL. Several months ago when Rupert Murdoch visited Disney World he reportedly hated it but was dumbfounded by all the merchandise he saw being sold. "Why the bloody fuck aren't we doing that?" Murdoch was reported to say to an aide. "Make it so." The result is a brand new full fledged TV shopping channel and the first week is devoted to the George Will collection of mens fashion wigs, FOX NEWS personality book sales and the Greta Van Susteren line of unisex blazers.

FOX AFTER DARK is a charming and leisurely chill pill. The corporate news business is strikingly similar to countless other corporate businesses in that your best people sit at desks and tell lies all day like maniacal sociopaths. It's all about winning and nothing else matters. Behind the scenes however these malignant sons of bitches are often just regular folks who like to relax at the end of a hard day of endless bullshit. Reality series don't get much better than this new entry. Famous faces get happy and plastered at this private after hours party with an open bar and free drinks. In the series premiere Rupert Murdoch makes one of the best entrances ever filmed as he nearly floats through a double door wearing a Hefner style burgundy silk robe with no less than Rand Paul tethered to his arm like an Applejack show pony.

JINGO UNBRIDLED is a daily TV series that mixes themes from movies "WAR HORSE", "SEA BISQUIT", George Orwell's "1984" and the 1960's television series "MR.ED". Greta Bisquit the talking wonder horse is a revenge minded pony who with the help of Heck Hannity and Calamity Kelly seek out liberals and extract revenge for multiple offenses including leaving Greta off an otherwise perfect Pick Six ticket.

FOX NEWS INTERNATIONAL is now approaching worldwide ratings supremacy having already conquered America, U.K. and Australian media market share majorities. Offshore the FOX NEWS slogan is surprisingly different than the American version after translation. FOX market research revealed that the new and market tested international slogan of "WE HATE MORE AMERICANS THAN YOU DO" boosted viewership by at least 50% in over 60 different countries or foreign language dialects. Other than the slogan subtitles follow the American broadcast script accurately.

NEILSEN RATINGS REPORT has produced it's own year end wrap up show featuring a wealth of information about America's television viewing habits. Of special notice FOX NEWS has attained the highest average age of viewer of any show in television history. When Megyn Kelley or Sean Hannity or Bill O' Reilly speak the average age of their nearly 3 million viewers is over 65 years old. FOX NEWS total number of individual viewers is actually decreasing because so many of their most loyal viewers die each year.

FOX NEWS PRESENTS REAL-AMERICAN NEW YEAR is live on the FOX WHITE CHANNEL New Year Eve. Elisabeth Hasselbeck hosts along with the Dux Klux Klan as they bring in the new year 2014 with the traditional cross burning. Phil the Dux Klan wizard has issued a prayer to his real God that the new year be filled with the brutal deaths of infidel liberals and the colored subspecies that have destroyed America for real American white folks. Phil is feeling quite high and Jesuish lately with his network groveling for more backwoods realism and crowd pleasing hate speech under the guise of Christianity.

Sean Hannity has been bumped from his 9 o'clock prime time slot on the FOX news network by the younger and lovelier Megyn Kelly but he has been given the opportunity to host a show to be called HANNITY DAYTIME on daytime television. Hannity has welcomed the opportunity as a challenge to expand his audience with the mostly female daytime audience on the FLOX news Chanel #5.

Reaching Out For Conservative Minorities! FOX spins desperately to help GOP find any non-white support. The new FOX LATINO news spin channel has tanked in the ratings but FOX executive Lily Whiteface said it may be just a language problem. May 31, 2013. News Ratings News (NRN)

New Sponsor Makes Huge Ad Buy On FOX Channels! People still aching for unfounded conspiracy drama. Many months have passed. An official investigation was conducted. An explicit list of of security recommendations was presented. Federal legislation passed to provide funding. The security recommendations have all been implemented. End of story? Not according to many in the fast growing conspiracy industrial complex. May 10, 2013. New Conspiracy Product News (NCPN)

Insiders Say Fox News Political Analyst A Lying Sack Of Sh*t! One of the network's high profile political analysts is actually a hologram on a Hefty bag. Insiders spoke anonymously for fear of their electronic shock collars being activated by their Fox News implant mind control microchips. Employees said the level of bullshit in the Fox newsroom is so thick they clean it out with skip loaders on weekends. The most surprising revelation was how one political commentator's hologram is projected upon a plastic bag full of crap because a Fox News bigwig finds the classic wag bag gag a laugh riot and the coolest practical joke of all time. September 9, 2012. Behind The Lens

FOX Billionaire Buys All Assets Of Several World Religions! Church leaders receive signing bonuses for future appearances on FOX Religion Channel. Rupert Murdoch controls a $700 billion business empire of entertainment, publishing and broadcasting and his propaganda controls the minds of as many as one billion people daily. He owns thousands of entities around the globe and in America including FOX News, the Republican Party, The Wall Street Journal, Bill O'Reilly, Karl Rove and Sean Hannity. Negotiations and details were kept secret so it is not known if the Mormon faith was among the multiple religions purchased in the first deal of its kind ever. July 1, 2012. My FOX Religion

"Not Fit" In UK "Perfect Fit" At FOX "Willful Blindness" replaces FOX NEWS "Fair and Balanced" motto. Australian-born gossip publisher and NewsCorp media mogul Rupert Murdoch also owns the Wall Street Journal and employs Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Sarah Palin and Karl Rove in his endless efforts to bully, tear down and drag America into some nightmare version of an ultra conservative hell hole. "Not A Fit Person" Murdoch owns the GOP propaganda machine and insults the intelligence of all Americans while making ball-licking lap dogs of GOP politicians. May 3, 2012 read more

Biggest U.S Story Happening In U.K. Godfather of American conservative media in hot water. Rupert Murdoch's employees continue to be arrested for corruption and phone hacking in an investigation that grows bigger every day. If the scandal crosses the pond, FOX NEWS may need to dilute it's anti-Obama, anti-government message. Murdoch's personal survival may require he snuggle up to the status quo. He may even embrace Obama in the event of a landslide re-election victory. The closer the scandal comes to America, the bigger the danger to Murdoch personally and the more FOX NEWS will sound like it's turning Joe Biden Democrat. February 16, 2012. World Illuminati Report

Sanity Not Hannity! Supreme Court upholds Obamacare despite two year propaganda war led by FOX news and Tea Party Republicans. Chief Justice John Roberts missed the 845 broadcasts in which Hannity and his misinformed guests called the Affordable Care Act unconstitutional. The Supreme Court decided that you can call the disputed mandate to buy insurance a "shared responsibility payment" or a "penalty" or a purple cow or the end of the world but the mandate is actually just a tax hike on certain taxpayers who do not buy health insurance. Citizens may lawfully choose to pay the tax in lieu of buying health insurance. Since the mandate is just a tax and only a tax it is entirely within Congress's constitutional power to enact and the law stands as is. June 28, 2012. My Taco Supreme

FOX News Names Lord Romney American Idol! Official GOP propaganda and utter bullshit network embraces Rupert Murdoch's new bitch. Lord Romney can't sing but he can tell bald faced lies as fast and as frequently as any FOX news personality and that pleases billionaires who maintain their power by keeping voters ignorant, making them red hot angry and then misdirecting their rage for the benefit and amusement of those same billionaires. Rupert Murdoch can't stop laughing about how goddam stupid television viewers are and he never tires of manipulating their little tiny brains in accordance with any whim that crosses his sick mind. All FOX news personalities and contributors owe their careers and paychecks to their ability to tell endless lies that boost ratings and amuse Rupert Murdoch. Lord Mitt Romney cannot get elected without the massive help of FOX news which further delights Murdoch to no end. May 26, 2012. Fox Fabulous Fables

Mad Cow Blamed On Cable Company Cow was supposed to be watching soap operas. A formerly contented cow living on a California dairy farm came down with a case of Mad Cow after the local cable company reassigned the cable channel numbers. Dairy farmer Jess Milken knows daytime soap operas are soothing to cows but found it hilarious when one cow started mooing angrily after the channel changed to FOX NEWS. Then the cow bit the head off a chicken so Jess called the veterinarian who fitted the angry cow with a special mask. The vet recommended the television stay on soap operas and the mask stay on the cow until the still furious cow calms down. April 22, 2012. Don's Dairy Farm Digest

Hannity Gets Zimmerman And Huckabee Gigs With Ted Nugent Band! "Stand Your Ground" tour to begin this summer. Well known right-wing gun enthusiast, rock n' roll geezer and loudmouth dumbass clown, Ted Nugent, jammed with his new band mates and then told NRA convention members that next year he will either be dead or in jail, implying he will shoot President Obama like an animal if the American public doesn't vote the way Ted Nugent wants this fall. The Secret Service said they will interview Nugent about his near death threats against the President which could be considered illegal under federal law. A tone deaf Sean Hannity was on hand masturbating to Nugent's rock n' roll oldies while playing air guitar. April 18, 2012. Summer Rock Tour Update

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