HILLARY CLINTON EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive. |
HILLARY After Roseanne is banned from television for continually spouting racist bigotry on Twitter the Connors are desperate to keep their sitcom on TV and offer the part to an available Hillary Clinton and rename the show hoping the liberal leaning executives at the network will go along with the idea. |
THE GRABBER This new film from ButtHealth is about how a lifetime of grabbing, groping, kissing, fondling, fingering and fooling around haven't slowed this 70 year-old testosterone buzzed billionaire. Women in his life learn to always keep hands covering crotch not realizing that in his mind they are signalling "please grab my butt!". |
CELEBRITY HALLOWEEN The party was just for fun and they had partied together many times before but this time when one couple showed up as Kanye West and Kim Kardashian a wave of sadness and nostalgia overtook the party. Every single one of the other old white guys were over 70 post heart attack and had totally dead dicks. |
HILLARY CLINTON starring in THE IRON LADY When the position of Royal Ruler suddenly becomes available Hillary insists she is the most prepared and up to the challenge of leading the Iron Islands into negotiations for a mutually beneficial trade deal with the Rust Belt despite the fact a women has never before been elected leader. |
LUCK BE A LADY TONIGHT Lady Luck has always made her home in Vegas but when her soulmate and sister from another mother Hillary comes to town it's a whirlwind rainbow of song and dance and those long-legged ladies that aren't wearing pants. She's the hit of Strip for two solid weeks with superstar smiles and red rosy cheeks. |
PROGRESS FOR LESS starring HILLARY CLINTON While Flo is off on a well deserved vacation Hillary volunteers to staff the main reception desk at a huge progressive advocacy organization. Using the Progressive price comparison tool Hillary makes a convincing case for economical change but despite her best efforts sales remain flat. |
SHE'S A RAINBOW Hillary visits the International Pavilion Room during the World Family Conference and greets representatives of every ethnic race on earth using phrases from eleven different languages. The addition of an extraordinary group of soulful backup singers smooths her tones and makes her words flow like gospel music. |