DICK CHENEY EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive. |
JUST DESSERTS Talk about blockbuster political suspense and drama this new theater release feature film has it all. After Eric Holder submits his resignation as United States Attorney General Republican Senators block the nomination of his successor so Holder stays on and heeds intense worldwide pressure to prosecute those responsible for the illegal use of torture after 9/11. Believing the punishment should fit the crime an outraged federal judge and former prisoner of war played by an aging Robert Duvall sentences war criminal Dick Cheney to undergo 180 rectal feedings of ice cold spumoni. A pro-torture patriot group sympathizes with Cheney and organizes a rectal dessert party in his support at a Washington D.C. Italian restaurant but the group runs for the parking lot after hearing Cheney shriek like a high school cheerleader. |
LOSING CHENEY is a new Lifeline Channel original movie that deals with a family problem becoming more and more frequent today. Dealing with demented and senile old family members is a challenge under any circumstances but when dealing with someone who once had immense power of life and death over millions and who unknowingly carries the weight of thousands of souls of those who died for no reason other than the manipulations of the living person they stalk. The Ikrit follows just outside the operating room just behind the passenger seat and just above it's bounty waiting to take Cheney's cold evil soul on the black hole express to the deepest pits of the hottest reaches of the fiercest regions of hell. Meanwhile the former Vice President makes demands on all around him to abet his ever evolving evil experiences as if a bucket list of all evil were his goal and obsession before escalating dementia consumes him. During a recent interview he inexplicably yelled "I'll never sell the Clippers!". |
THE DEVIL'S DAUGHTER Cable TV viewers are accustomed to provocative series featuring wickedly evil characters in shows like Dexter, Breaking Bad and Fargo but this new made for cable movie goes where no other show dares and you want evil? These characters disembowel the border guards on the barriers of decency. As possibly the most evil man on earth Dick Cheney is devilishly delighted to discover his daughter Liz is even more wicked than he was at her age and is willing to go certain places even her sublimely wicked mother Lynne has refused to go for years. After Cheney has a young gymnast murdered to obtain a new heart for his second transplant Liz starts giving Dick massage therapy and manipulates Dick over and over until Dick comes to the idea of a permanent partnership for evil. After Lynne leaves for Brazil with a salsa dancer Dick and Liz move into a luxury penthouse together and become literally inseparable. At her urging they begin writing some of the most self-serving spiteful revisionist history op-ed articles in the history of newspapers. Rated D for Damned. |
First run episodes of CHENEY FAMILY FEUD are only available by subscription on satellite dish but reruns are certain to go into syndication and rival the Kardashians especially in the next election cycle as Liz Cheney is trying to unseat an established conservative Republican by going total 90 degree right wing including bashing her lesbian sister Mary's lesbian marriage to score points with evangelicals. |
LIZ AN DICK is a new unscripted reality series on Yangtime Television (check your local listings). Conservatives have found great success on the small screen with Honey Boo Boo, Duck Dynasty and Lady Hoggers so it comes as no surprise that the Cheney's of Wyoming have finally landed a lucrative reality series of their own. With breathtaking mountain views in nearly every episode this series is sure to be a bust out hit. |
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