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 JEFF SESSIONS EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these
stories they wouldn't be exclusive. |
 | REEFER MADNESS In this new crime drama series based in the 1980's Attorney General J. Beau Sessions organizes an elite unit of anti-marijuana crusaders to go after criminal pot-smoking filthy hippies that are known to congregate around Taco Bells and other Mexican fast food establishments. |
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| THE RECUSANT Top Bun as President Goldschmuck submits to no higher authority than himself and his appointees who resist his omnipotent will or fail to execute his commands or misunderestimate his almightiness can suddenly find themselves dangling by the ankles from Marine One at 1500 feet. |
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| DELIVERANCE 2 - REBOUND The amazing autistic banjo boy from the original film is now sixty years old and on top the Tallulah County power pyramid but he's mad as hell and seeks righteous revenge for the sexual assaults he suffered as a boy banjo prodigy up and down the Cahulawassee River. |
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| WHITE CHOCOLATE - THE FUDGE IS GONE After a two year power struggle three elves, Keebler, Keebler and Keebler or KKK, make huge changes to the recipes. They eliminate the use of all dark or milk chocolate and from now on all their cookies will on be dipped in white chocolate only. |
| STONE COLD CRAZY - New! RINO Records release from EMPRESS Maybe once in a generation does any record in any genre qualify as a world changing piece of plastic but this disc does just that. Despite near universal rejection by music critics everywhere theses songs are loved by millions. |
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| JEFF SESSIONS starring in MAXIMUM MAYHEM Tasked with removing 11 million foreign borns from the country and punishing 40 million native born marijuana users and many millions of women who had abortions the head of the New Justice Department launches a massive motorized assault. |
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| THE SESSIONS Jeff was raised in the Deep South and is forced to live in a small-minded, fearful and biased worldview bubble. Due to his condition of constant anxiety he has never enjoyed sex until his friend Big Don sends him to a sex therapist but jealousy erupts when he tries to explain to his wife. |
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| ALABAMA JUSTICE When the President authorizes the Attorney General to assemble a deportation force Beauregard knows exactly where to look. After visiting just three trailer parks he leads an angry march across the Alabama River to the Hormel Catfish factory where they suspect some Mexican nationals might be working illegally. |
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| One-click logo links to Unted States daily newspapers and televison news stations... |
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