SARAH PALIN EXCLUSIVE! If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive. |
FLIP and FLOP After finding success as politicians and then experiencing the drastic downside of an election defeat this team of former Republican Governors switched career gears and now buy distressed properties from people who are sick and forced to sell because of the repeal of Obamacare. |
SARAH PALIN starring in SUCK IT UP CUPCAKE The rise of Trump reinvigorated a Sarah Palin and pulled her fading star celebrity career right out of the dumpster. She's in fine form starring as an over the hill Brittany Spears type Las Vegas performer who uses every trick in her little black book to stay onstage and in the spotlight. |
SARAH PALIN IN ANGEL FROM HELL Sarah Palin is back on TV in a new weekly sitcom and things are off to a terrific start. After swooping in like a guardian angel to endorse the Donald Trump candidacy in Iowa Palin blows the roof off the auditorium with a jaw-dropping entrance in her Victoria Secret angel wings costume. |
SARAH PALIN IN ANGEL FROM HELL Sarah Palin is back on TV in a new weekly sitcom. After finishing her speech a sky-high Sarah is so excited to be back in the game she leaps on The Donald, who without pausing to take a pill or go to the bathroom, expresses his gratitude in a prolonged and raunchy spontaneous display of affection. |
HAPPY DAYS IN COUGAR TOWN The Cruz played by Ted Cruz finally decides to leave his mother's house in Calgary, Canada and ride his motorcycle all the way to Cuba to visit his father and grandparents. After a small hurricane and alligator encounter his motorcycle develops engine trouble and The Cruz is stranded in Cougar Town. |
TITANIC 2016 starring DONALD TRUMP and SARAH PALIN The conservative base of the GOP loves who they love and there is nothing on earth that can change their hearts. If love is not madness it is not love. Republicans make a swim for it as their ideal romance hits an iceberg in a film TV GUIDO calls "The movie of the century." |
RAGE IN A CAGE Wrestling, UFC and all forms of simulated combat are in. Rage is the latest rage and the FOX empire knows exactly how to provoke outrage that builds into more and more raging viewers. By staging cage matches that are part debate part kickboxing and part wrestling this event is certain to appeal to the base. |
BAKED ALASKA After her son is charged with murder Dixie goes rogue and steals the payroll and a van full of Confederate flag women's swimwear from the Tallahassee boutique where she works and sets out with her daughter to Alaska where the population is 99% white and record high temperatures dominate the news. |
PALIN FAMILY COOKOFF - PET RECIPE CHALLENGE The producers of CELEBRITY CHOPPED and THRILLA IN WASILLA are ready to roll out a new series on multiple small cable networks starring the ever present Palin family. The whole family cooks up their favorite 100% meat recipes using only Alaska grown critter meat which includes a large variety of hunted wild game, domestic stock and roadkill. Roadkill is a popular source of meat in Alaska because it stays fresh in the freezing temperatures until retrieved free by anyone for cooking or storage. A promo trailer shows a scene where as the competition in the family kitchen gets busy and heats up Sarah forgets about the cameras and goes au natural to cook a native mule deer. |
SKYBRAWL In the world of movies no acting role is more coveted than James Bond. The multi-billion dollar 007 franchise been the gold standard of all action and spy movies for generations and six superstar actors have played the role in 23 major motion pictures. Understandably, Sarah Palin immediately dropped all plans for politics and a drapery line she was designing when out of the blue she was offered the role of Jane Bond super secret agent 008 for a cool $19 million and a license to kill. Nudity was required but Palin now has three more films in the pipeline and the paltry pay of politics is now a distant memory for the new Jane Bond agent 008. SKYBRAWL is due in theaters in 2015 and was filmed on five continents. |
DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM? Sarah Palin has hosted and guested on game shows before but this is her first offering on her own SARAH PALIN CHANNEL which during the game is called the SARAH PALIN PLAY CHANNEL. In this exciting new game show random folks are selected and as contestants are led onstage individually. After a suspenseful wait in the spotlight of at least half a minute Sarah Palin appears from behind a curtain and approaches the contestant. In a loud stage voice she directly asks "Don't you know who I am?" The contestant has fifteen seconds to answer correctly or Sarah Palin bitch slaps her off the stage and out the stage door into a parking lot covered with snow. Winning contestants receive a free one year subscription to the Sarah Palin Channel so they can watch their appearance with Sarah over and over. |
COUGAR DELTA FORCE is a new show that begins with tension heightened by extreme music and deliberate drama as if life and death were at stake but the action is closer to Storage Wars as Sarah Palin has apparently spent hundreds of thousands of dollars buying and assembling an arsenal of obsolete weapons of war including missiles and a Korean War era missile launcher at a secret location the show does not reveal. The good part of the show is when Sarah takes a nap after a rigorous workout and then in a weekly fantasy dream sequence Super Sarah, leader of the awesome Cougar Delta Force, takes on and obliterates the world's most evil villains. |
WHITE CHICKEN LITTLE Sarah Palin lends her voice-over talents to this new adult political cartoon series. Sarah plays White Chicken Little who after twice winning ribbons for best breasts at the County Fair has become disillusioned with the farm's owner. She'd thought Farmer Obama had an unimpeachable character until she accidentally learns he's been eating her eggs for breakfast since her disappointing finish in this year's fair. She became hysterical and started running around like a chicken with it's head cut off yelling for an all out farm rebellion. The other hens voiced by Sophia Vergara and Christina Hendricks are too busy clucking on about the latest farm gossip too even notice White Chicken Little's ongoing anxiety attack. |
SARAH PALIN'S MALEFICENT is a new spin on the American fairy tale also called the American dream. Superman used to defend truth, justice and the American way but now that has all turned to kryptonite in this new feature film starring Sarah Palin, Lisa Ann, ChiChing Cheney, Bull O'Reilly and Pornstache Rivera. Palin as the Wicked Witch plots and succeeds in making torture part of everyday life. From suspected terrorists all the way to FOX News viewers in Sarah Palin's America the torture is never ending. This is Palin's first film with live action and animation mixed although the dialog is still Alaskan cartoonish as usual. |
FOX NEWS BUBBLE JEOPARDY WITH HOST SARAH PALIN is a new game show featuring FOX news personalities and contributors who are questioned about FOX news talking points and conspiracy theories. Categories include Benghazi, Obamacare horror stories, reasons for impeachment, celebrity patriots, Charles Krauthammer and Duck Dynasty details. |
Sarah Palin is everywhere. In yet another new show SARAH PALIN'S SPECIAL KIND OF STUPID Sarah takes to the great outdoors to sell her love of guns, killing critters and using her unsold books as tent logs. In SARAH'S DUCK HUNT Sarah travels to a Louisiana swamp and intentionally shuns Governor Bobby Jindal to experience the deep woods with an inbred family of swamp duck hunters. |
THE REVENGE OF BASHIR - CRIME OF THE CENTURY may be the most anticipated new movie of the year. Can you say Oscar? Nobody plays the victim like Sarah Palin and after her victim act gets a TV newsman fired for tastelessly criticizing her remarks about slavery the news turns all bad for Sarah in this action packed thriller. First she's kidnapped by a crazed Martin Bashir and survives a high speed chase bound in a cabin cruiser only to be crushed when a raging Bashir tells her Rupert Murdoch refuses to pay her ransom. "For a billion dollars you can keep her, my man." is Rupert's ice cold refusal to pay in bitcoin. |
The new FOX LEMON CHANNEL movie RUPERT MURDOCH'S WHORE ON CHRISTMAS - A BILLIONAIRE BACHELOR'S CELEBRATION starts out as the result of a late night cocktail party at the musty Playboy mansion with Hugh Hefner and a gang of divorced Hollywood old timers banging down the booze when they hit upon the idea of getting the whole gang together and taking Murdoch's new playmate Sarah Palin to a Las Vegas hotel suite to celebrate Christmas old style. To keep the action fast paced Glenn Rice and the Harlem Globetrotters who happen to be in Vegas join the party at Sarah's request. |
MY TWO GODS starring SARAH PALIN could simply be called a melodramatic sitcom or the first soap with a Pope. But a deeper message is here someplace. As the action starts Sarah has blurted out insulting tweets about how she was all taken aback by the new Pope sounding pretty damn liberal. When she gets some backlash she goes all public lovey dovey and exclaims her blessedness that her God allows her the FOX news platform to spread her message that she spreads. But then Byaaaang! the Pope fires off a Magna Carta size blast against evil global capitalism and evil international billionaires like her billionaire benefactor and a meltdown drama unfolds as an utterly rebuked Sarah searches desperately for something her fans might love to see her tweet. |
TEA PARTY HOMECOMING starring Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin has received rave reviews but possibly for the wrong reasons. This is no political movie but rather an complicated emotional gut-twister and pitches as "Carrie Meets Fatal Attraction". Sarah Palin's body double is worth the price of admission and negates any subconscious objections to the eerie way Palin delivers her unique-as-a-unicorn dialog. |
With the matter of the Tea Party economic suicide shutdown pushed aside temporarily BGN/Beer Goggles Network launches a provocative new interview series appropriately titled BEER GOGGLES utilizing the network's patented BGC/BeerGoggleCamera and beer fueled interviews of women or men important enough to sell books on FOX opinion news shows as well as an occasional truly important person. This season Ann Coulter appears to promote her new book "Never Let A Liberal Lick Your Bookend", private citizen Hillary Clinton allows the BGC/BeerGoggleCamera to follow along on a shopping trip to Walmart and Sarah Palin makes a forceful stand to insist a Veterans War Memorial remain open for visitors until normal closing hours. |
The SAFARI CHANNEL debuts a new movie of the week HAS ANYBODY SEEN ME HUNT? Ted Cruz and Sarah Palin team up for a slaughterhouse bloodbath in which Sarah Palin frequently displays her naked aggression and moons too liberal conservatives with her bare ass Twitter tirades just before she plants two social media shotgun shells through their RINO butts. Cruz happily hooks carcasses while Palin shoots as Grizzly Mama promised Cruz Mizzle a warm nuclear silo after the day's cannibal elephant hunt. |
EURO-TV's ARTISTE series presents a fascinating look at a Russian artist formerly known as Ivadonov Vukumal who had to flee Russia because of his Vladimir Putin paintings. Once relocated in France he became so incensed at one American politician's Twitter post that he dedicated a new series of controversial paintings depicting his new obsession... Sarah Palin. |
VEEP ME! is a new political comedy series on GOPink-tv that explores the inner musings of Megabrain a Republican political thinker and strategist with a political endorsement batting average below the Mendoza line and a resulting inflated psychoanalyst bill. He finds redemption and joy attempting to rehabilitate has been broken down landslide loser politicians that everyone else has given up on. |
Sarah Palin Impossible To Ignore! Palin is back on FOX and attracting attention. After five months confinement in the Twitterverse Sarah Palin made a triumphant return to FOX news where she openly displayed her passionate positions that are all but impossible to ignore. June 19, 2013. TV Weekly Reader |
NEW! Palin Launches Line Of Assclown Jeans! As seen on TV! Sarah Palin says Assclown Jeans are for pit bull hockey moms who work their asses off and are upset at those assclown Washington D.C. politicians. Palin also says Assclown Jeans send that mad-as-hell message where it will get noticed... on your big ass! Assclown Jeans come with a stitched-in pistol strap inside the waistband for concealed handgun carriers. May 2, 2013. Wasilla Fashionista |
Palin Embraces Spirit Of Montana. Roadkill for dinner? You betcha! A bill has been introduced in Montana to allow harvesting roadkill for meat and Sarah Palin says that's the greatness of America and freedom when it can manifest itself in ways in which the great American spirit can celebrate our independence in the ways our founding fathers imagined we'd all like to live our lives here in America and I say right on to the folks in Montana and maybe there's a message here going out to some folks that maybe want to contain our precious freedoms. March 22, 2013. Mobile Food Court Press |
Sarah Palin and Allen West Doing It! Once a week and sometimes more. At least once a week both Sarah Palin and Florida Congressman Allen West will issue another outrageous, provocative and often asinine statement that never fails to attract media attention which they then immediately cash in on through fundraising. How many times their political base can be suckered isn't even in question as their fans seem to enjoy being duped over and over. Palin endorsed Allen West as a GOP VP candidate and they now work in tandem to maximize their fundraising cash haul. The politics for profit business has never been so lucrative. April 23, 2012. Creative Fundraiser Monthly |
Palin Says "I'm Not Finished!" Predicts Republican nominee will come from brokered convention and that she's available and still has the fire in the belly to run. It might have been the tequila margarita that her personal chef prepared for the fiesta lunch in her swank new Arizona mansion but Sarah Palin said she would be willing to help out Republicans by accepting their nomination without participating in a single primary or caucus. "It won't be the voters who decide the Republican nominee." Sarah said seriously and she should know after she somehow seduced her way onto the 2008 GOP Presidential ticket with John McCain. Nobody has more reason to disregard voter concerns than Palin because she is living proof that backroom or bedroom deals and brokered arrangements mean more to the Republican power establishment than anything. To Sarah Palin the United States are united only in the sense that she can ignore all of the states and all of their voters and still come out smelling like a million bucks. February 17, 2012. Arizona Pistol Times |
Biggest Story In U.S Politics Happening In U.K.! Most Americans have no idea how much hot water the "Godfather of Conservative Politics" is in. Rupert Murdoch's top executives in the United Kingdom continue to be arrested on serious charges of corruption and illegal phone hacking in an ongoing investigation and scandal that grows bigger every day. The Murdoch media empire allegedly acted above the law for decades. Whenever employees were caught routinely breaking the law in the course of muck racking, illegal phone hacking and criminal trespassing, bribes were paid and business continued as usual. Rupert Murdoch may now be paying hush money to hundreds of current and former employees but beans were spilled and the crimes of his empire might actually bring the multibillionaire down. Why that could be the biggest story in American politics is simple. If even a sliver of the U.K. scandal surfaces here in the U.S., FOX NEWS will change it's anti-Obama right-wing Republican tunes so fast heads will spin. Not even billionaires can withstand a swarm of U.S. Justice Department prosecutors. Similar to killer bees chasing a doomed man into a piranha infested swamp, a long list of career-ending criminal charges are usually filed and federal prosecutors have a 98% conviction rate. As a matter of Murdoch's personal survival, FOX NEWS may tone down hate talk and wacky anti-government Tea Party crap and snuggle up closer than ever to the status quo which means the middle of the political spectrum or even embracing President Obama in the event of a landslide re-election victory. The closer the scandal comes to America, the bigger the danger to Murdoch personally and the more FOX NEWS will sound like his Wall Street Journal turning Joe Biden Democrat. February 16, 2012. World Illuminati Report |
HAS RUPERT CONQUERED AMERICA? With at least three employees running for President it's all up to Rupert Murdoch. Sarah Palin has a big money contract as a paid contributor for Murdoch's FOX news. Mike Huckabee hosts a talk show on FOX cable and Newt Gingrich is also a paid contributor. Of the top four contenders for the Republican Presidential nomination only Mitt Romney is not currently employed by Rupert Murdoch. When jokingly asked about Mitt being the black sheep, OMG Palin said she couldn't care less LOL. November 23, 2010 . Wasilla Wrestlin Arena Dressin Room |
A THRILLA IN WASILLA! Lisa Murkowski attacks Sarah Palin as not worthy of top ranking. Murkowski told CBS she doesn't think Sarah Palin has the leadership qualities or intellectual curiosity to be President. When asked about Murkowski's comments, OMG Palin said she couldn't care less LOL. November 18, 2010 . Wasilla Wrestlin Arena |
Discovery Channel's Newest Reality Series Star! Sarah Palin will be hosting her own nature and reality series starring herself, her family and an extended-family group of Alaskan grizzly bears. Sarah is excited about the upcoming project that will add to the $12 million dollar fortune she has earned since quitting the Alaska Governor's job after only 18 months. Despite criticism from Karl Rove that frolicking in the Alaskan wilderness with grizzly bears is not the best way to run for President, Sarah can point to the fact that the Republican National Commitee has already chosen her as their nominee. Sarah is also quick to point out you don't want to mess with grizzly mamas and some of those same grizzly mamas are comfortable with Sarah hanging out with them on her new basic cable television show. October 29, 2010. Hollywood NaturePose Photo Studio A |
Bristol Not Only Palin To Dance! Sarah Palin can also dance and may appear with her daugther in a group dance number on "Dancing With The Stars". Daughter Bristol has been doing very well on the hit television show and producers expect ratings to soar when the group dance number airs. Sarah's partner has been kept secret and but she'll get all the professional dance help she needs just like her daughter who has blossomed into a grizzly good dancer. The Disney company owns the popular television series and the Palin family dance number is part of Sarah's meticulously planned Disneyfication in progress. It's all leading up to her expected run for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. No amount of money is being spared in the effort by the richest of the superrich to groom Sarah Palin to be the family-friendly spokesperson for the most powerful corporations and conservative business groups on earth. October 23, 2010. Beverly Hills Dance Academy |
Sarah In Wonderland Coming Soon! Palin will debut her new image makeover within sight and smell of Disneyland. Just as Disneyland Park got rid of it's animatronic bears years ago Sarah will drop the scary grizzly bear talk and morph into a Disney heroine and spunky mother who inspires her daughter to victory on "Dancing With The Stars". Even the first dude has been taking Kurt Russell lessons and eating whole grains to activate the wholesomeness of his Disney being. A veteran Hollywood casting agent says Bruce Jenner has set a low bar for powerless television Dads which makes the Palin family big screen material and Disney screenwriters are busily churning out scripts for G-rated family entertainment. The complete Disneyfication will occur gradually and is timed for the 2012 GOP primary races. By then any blemishes in the Palin family lifestyle will have been airbrushed into a hit television series with devoted fans to rival any fantasy family in Disney entertainment history. October 18, 2010. Wonderland Park Raceway Tea Garden |
You Chose Palin! The Republican National Committee has decided for all Republicans that the party nominee will be Sarah Palin. The official Republican Party website now glamorously promotes Sarah Palin as a superstar performer on a victory tour after winning something somewhere. Her upcoming two sold out appearances are in Anaheim CA and Orlando FL, the homes of Disneyland and Disney World. October 1, 2010. RNC Special Insider Edition |
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