|PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA "HAIL TO THE CHIEF" If everybody else had these stories they wouldn't be exclusive.|
|BAMA After the major motion picture SELMA and the 50th anniversary celebration on the Pettis bridge in Selma the next anniversary and major historical movie release will be on May 17. Fifty years ago on that day the popular white racist Alabama Governor George Wallace who once received over 20% of the U.S. Presidential vote stood in the doorway of the University Of Alabama to prevent two African American students from enrolling. Ted Cruz does a masterful job portraying two truly despicable human beings in a demanding dual role that already has awards gossip buzz for best supporting actor based on sneak peaks alone.|
|VETOPOWER - THE FOURTH QUARTER This movie looks back on the future from further into the future all of which will one day be the past. In the final two years of his historic Presidency the President faces stiff opposition from certain members of Congress until they see the size of his heavy duty veto pen made by U.S. Defense Dept. contractors and guaranteed to write underwater, upside down, in freezing cold or in outer space. The fear of such a hi-tech weapon effectively deters GOP obstinacy and a surprising degree of compromise by the 114th Congress pleasantly shocks the nation.|
|FACE OFF CHANGE UP This movie imagines the classic identity/body switch plot Hollywood has used many times before but this is the first time the subjects have been a President and a Pope. The story begins just as the new Pope is gaining worldwide support with his passion and empathy for people a weary American President is losing his previous magic glow and facing many obstacles to implementing many of the good works he sincerely intended to do. In a face to face meeting at the Vatican the Pope senses an opportunity from God to save the world and mind melds with the President where they agree to a temporary body switch. The President with a brand new attitude then starts knocking off bucket list items he'd promised to do at a speed that is historic.|
|TORO TORO TORO This movie is a dramatic retelling of future events that lead to an attempt to impeach the President for actions he takes to help keep millions of families together in America. Although Latino leaders were aware of belligerent impeachment threats and promises of attacks on the President they were also reluctant to believe an impeachment would actually occur. President Obama's profile in courage not only secures the futures of millions of hard working and honest people who already consider themselves Americans but his courage to become the living champion for the words on the Statue of Liberty resonated with a new majority of American voters and the movie ends triumphantly with Hillary Clinton winning the Presidency in a landslide and dozens of Republican impeachment advocates swept out of office.|
|THE KEYSTONE COMPROMISE In this new major motion picture political fantasy drama President Barack Obama harnesses his inner Lincoln and forges the Keystone Compromise with a new Republican controlled Congress. As a result the Keystone pipeline is not only built but an additional pipeline from Colorado is added. The key to the compromise was a switch in what the pipeline would carry across the Nebraska aquifer. Everyone knew transporting Canadian tar sands oil in the pipeline over the Ogallala aquifer was an ecological disaster waiting to happen and created a prime and completely unprotected terrorist target. By agreeing to transport Keystone beer instead of toxic tar sands oil the pipeline became a symbol of a new cooperative American spirit. Former anti-pipeline activists were delighted as scientists universally agreed even a major spill of Keystone beer would not cause any lasting environmental damage.|
|STAR WARS XIII - THE LAST BATTLE OF IRAAX Barack Obama's big screen acting debut isn't scheduled to arrive until 2017 but this episode of the STAR WARS franchise will simply be the biggest motion picture ever made. Scenes will actually be shot from an orbit around both the earth and moon. The current working plot outline has planetmaster Obamacus Zappoza being forced to deal harshly with a marauding genocidal army of bandits who have taken control of the Tattooine sector and publicly peeled tramp stamps off women's lower backs as well as chopping off thousands of tattooed arms and legs. The death toll is massive when Obamacus orders corrective actions and the entire Iraax region is erased from existence via the orbiting giant sinkhole generator. Iraax is left at the bottom of two mile deep self closing sinkhole and every previously living being is now both dead and buried. Later Obamacus suffers grief over the innocent victims who couldn't hobble out of the region as his wife tries to cheer him up. "Tomorrow will be better" she says.|
|TALES OF THE RIO GRANDE Another timely movie on Texas BBS "We Got The Sauce! coming this summer. After much crazy talk including insults and nutty conspiracy theories by Texas Governor Rick Perry played by a bulked up Rick Perry the President finally comes to Texas where death threats from Republicans are routine. Despite expectations Rick Perry would at least pistol whip the President on the airport tarmac the two got along terrific and had a long conversation on a helicopter ride to the meeting they were attending together. After discovering they agreed on 98% of everything to do about the refugee immigrant children streaming into Texas from Central America the President put the burden squarely on Perry to persuade the Texas Congressional delegation to support passage of a supplemental bill to provide the money.|
|THE LEGEND OF BARACULES is an epic IMAX wide screen movie about the heroic adventures of Baracules and his victory in leading an army who were fighting for the impoverished people throughout the vast nation they were born into by no fault of their own. They bled for a better life that included the medical care they had never received and would have saved their loved ones. Millions perished in the generations long struggle. Baracules himself was born to and raised by an ailing mother who died young because she was shut off from the healthcare available only to the elite who lived in the city of pyramids. Baracules faced many obstacles and enemies not the least of which was TeaPartycus who led an opposing army that appeared only in the final years yet fought intense and desperate battles that left the vanquished so scared they could not accept defeat and retreated into a bubble of self-deception and isolation from their own families. Rated Bloody.|
|THE WESTEROS WING is a new weekly TV series starring President Barack Obama. In the premiere episode Glenn Beck blows the lid off the conspiracy that resulted in the poisoning of the King. Kings Landing City Council President Barack Obama admits he was part of the conspiracy but the public which passionately despised the King anyway decided it was much for the best and rewarded Obama with the Presidency of all of Westeros and began a campaign to abolish the monarchy entirely. In his first official action Obama orders an increased effort at tax collection from certain tea parlors known to be misrepresenting their tax status and skirting the law.|
|I LOVE YOU MAN 2 is a fun uplifting movie celebrating the success of a bromance that fueled a massive effort that obliterated the all-time sales records in the health insurance industry. When these two insurance salesmen who happen to be next door neighbors and good friends set out to sell the most new health insurance policies in the the history of ACME Insurance Company they had no idea they would lead the entire industry but that's what they did. When they got their commissions and bonus checks they set off on conquering a bucket list of sorts while their wives found a new admiration for their husbands and life in general. Rated G for Good Health|
|HAWAII B.O. is based on the almost true story of one of the greatest public relations comebacks in Presidential history. After a difficult and exhausting year in Washington D.C. the President and the first family took off to Hawaii for an end of year vacation and then something unexpected and magical began to happen. For every day that the President stayed in Hawaii his sagging poll numbers inched up another notch including a record five points in five days. In an unprecedented move the President ordered his White House staff to join him in Hawaii or operate with him via encrypted Skype. When Obama left town in mid-December conservative pundits were calling him a lame duck but by the time he returned to Washington D.C. for Easter he was being called the most popular President ever in advertisers coveted 29-54 age demographic.|
|MR.FANTASTIC IN OBAMACARE GOT LEGS finds a divided Fantastic Four but with the help of the Invisible Woman Mr. Fantastic played by Barack Obama is more confidant than ever he can keep the Affordable Care Act moving forward to achieve an improved healthcare system for all Americans. This is a very long movie (18 reeler) and throughout Mr. Fantastic is under constant attack for his superpower of flexibility that Republicans simply don't like and yet he dispatches every foe and still maintains his commitment to the goal of achieving by far the biggest improvement in the American healthcare system in over forty years.|
|THE 100 TRILLION DOLLAR PYRAMID is an updated version of an old favorite TV game show. The contestants are always pleasant and often delighted to discover that common sense and concern for the common good of all people is quite often the most profitable and rewarding path available. Due to a conflict with currently miserable FOX ownership the popular game show is unavailable on any FOX stations.|
| Forward! The coming presidential election offers an easy choice. America as a democracy with a President of the people and for the people... OR ...America as a plutocracy ruled by billionaires who are catered to by Republican Koch-sucking stooges in Congress and a "Rubberstamp Romney" in the White House. We endorse the re-election of President Obama and the ouster of every Republican member of Congress.
Daily Racing Rag
|Presidents endorse President Obama! Mascots unanimous in contempt for Mitt Romney! Presidential mascot George Washington was most vocal in denouncing Mitt as a traitor and criminal that should be hanged. We fought a revolution to get rid of an elite ruling class that treated human beings like cattle and now here comes Mitt Romney to pervert everything we fought for and everything America is supposed to stand for. And for God's sake all that lying makes me want to kill. Washington said that to put one of America's most dishonest and greediest criminals into the White House amounts to treason and the path to a new American revolution that will be 1000 times bloodier than the original. Oppressed poor people that have lost hope in a corrupt America will rise up like zombies and murder the elite by the thousands. Washington urged all voters to wake the fuck up before they send America over the cliff and into the depths of annihilation. October 30, 2012. National Mascot News|
|Obama Wows AGT Judges! Obama rocks the house with Springsteen classic. President Obama has been secretly practicing his guitar licks for months ever since seeing Bruce Springsteen in concert. The AGT judges had been expecting a soulful Al Green tune but were immediately delighted when the President came out rocking with "Born in the USA" and totally blown away when Obama pulled off a tasty Hawaiian steel guitar riff in the middle of a smoking hot rock guitar solo. May 15, 2012. TV Playback Daily|
|This Time It's The Planet! President Obama is moving "Forward" to save mankind. The President's new campaign slogan for 2012 is "Forward" because America needs to face the future and be prepared for everything imaginable. Mitt Romney ridiculed the President's campaign slogan because it's been used before in many political campaigns and in many different languages. Lord Romney insists his campaign jingle and slogan of "I'm A Really Rich Guy" will appeal to Republicans who wish they were really rich too. May 4, 2012 Future Feature News|
| Over 50% Approval Obama Feels Good! Whoa-oa-oa! He knew that he would, now. He feels good! He knew that he would, now. So good, so good, he's got you.
The economy continues to improve and that makes the President feel nice! Like sugar and spice. Whoa-oa-oa! He feels nice, like sugar and spice. So nice, so nice, he's got you. As the hardest working man in Washington the President listens to the people and delivers what the majority of the people want to hear. Republicans have proven tone deaf and cater to the loudest loudmouths on their short list of big campaign contributors. The 1% of the 1% may hear their favorite tunes played in heavy rotation by GOP spinners but the majority of Americans prefer the President's playlist.
February 21, 2012. Dance N' D.C. News
| 2012 State Of The Union Address!
In the current class warfare President Obama says it's just common sense to support the side with 99% of all Americans!
Billionaires don't need tax rates lower than their employees. They have trust funds, hedge funds, stocks, bonds, overseas investments, mineral rights, royalties, luxury homes and luxury cars. 99% of the people get a better deal when the 1% pays the same percentage as everybody else. Tired old Republican excuses for corporate welfare and unfair tax subsidies for billionaires have never sounded more like dishonest crap. 99% of Americans clearly know what is unfair and wrong.
January 24, 2012. Obama SOTU Yearly
| Obama Volunteers On The March!
Tens of thousands working for re-election of President Obama!
They're not millionaires. They don't have trust funds, hedge funds, overseas investments, royalties or mineral rights. They aren't living the easy life on Easy Street and there won't be any yachting this summer. They are the people that are working hard but had a hard time finding that hard work. They may not be in the genius category but they don't need a house call from Dr. House to diagnose they've been back stabbed by Republican politicians carrying water for greedy corporations and an elite wealthy class that live like kings and dismiss the desperate needs of the many as trivial and an agonizing bore.
January 6, 2012. Obama Marching Station
|Obama Signs Patent Reform!
America Invents Act is first overhaul of patent system since 1952. The legislation streamlines and speeds up the U.S. patent system and will help create U.S. jobs. Manufacturers will now be able to market inventions before they are stolen by the Chinese. Long delays had meant illegal knock-offs were in full production in China before the inventors received U.S. patent approval. U.S. patent litigation has sometimes lasted decades but may now be reduced or in many cases prevented. A fetish-driven young bureaucrat mistakenly arranged an all-patent leather event.
September 18, 2011. U.S. Patent Leather Office
|Tea Party, Meet The Teamsters!
Obama offers GOP last chance to act like adults. The President's proposed jobs bill puts one million construction workers back to work immediately. If this Kindergarten Congress does nothing Hoffa says he wants to "take the sons of bitches out" of school.
September 6, 2011. Michigan Labor University
|Obama Support Hits Bumpy Road! Popularity sags but may spring back with better days. With one bump in the road after another and the economy's slow recovery people are still feeling jittery. December 7, 2010. Recovery Road USA|
|Debate Rages On! Slim chance seen for agreement between sides for more or less. Independents have the luxury of not taking a stand except to criticize both sides sides while Independent-registered voters may be a lot like fickle football fans who only root for the winning team and will switch sides at halftime. December 6, 2010 . FEDEX Political Ideology Arena|
| More Flags Less Fun! G-20 Leaders Not Happy Campers. Obama arrived in South Korea to meet the leaders of the world's largest economies at this year's G-20 summit. Much concern was aimed at Obama about attempts to lower the value of the dollar in order to increase demand for U.S. exports. It requires all the diplomatic footwork a Dancing Barry can finesse to negotiate trade agreements that produce American jobs. Most countries prefer to export to the U.S. but limit imports and they don't really want to change.
November 12, 2010 . Cirques De Seoul Arena G-20 Summit
| Obama's Inspirational Gandhi Moment! |
President Obama was visiting the Mumbai, India memorial and honoring one of his personal heroes, Mahatma Gandhi, when a soft glowing light, the size of a man in a robe, appeared to be hovering about a foot off the ground near Obama. Obama clearly felt a presence and appeared to be having a conversation with someone. The President later said he was very moved by the experience and will honor Gandhi's spirit and words by seeking to do all that is possible to achieve the social justice that Gandhi sought in his lifetime. "I am mindful that I might not be standing before you today, as president of the United States, had it not been for Gandhi and the message he shared and inspired with America and the world," the president said. Obama also said he was considering shaving his head but wasn't giving up his tailored business suits for a pile of bedsheets. The President and First Lady will conclude their visit to India and move on to China to meet a who's who of dignitaries including Chinese President Ho.
| Obama Feels The Love In India! |
President Obama goes to India to visit former U.S. jobs and sell fighter jets and Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Billions of dollars in trade agreements were signed for the purpose of selling more U.S. weapons to India's military and more consumer goods to India's rising middle class. The agreement is expected to create at least 53,000 new jobs in America. Demand for U.S. products is increasing because India consumers have more purchasing power than ever before and their economy is growing as fast as China's. If America is to remain strong and prosperous trade and business agreements are mandatory. Fortunately, President Obama is extremely popular in India with a 70% approval rating and even considered a hero to hundreds of millions of the populace. If the President needed an ego boost after a crushing mid-term election he came to exactly the right place.
November 6, 2010. Mumbai India Motorcycle Rally
| World's Most Popular Living Person! |
For the second straight year President Barack Obama outpaced Indian movie star Amitabh Bachchan for the title of world's most popular living person. Jackie Chan ran a strong third and Bill Clinton completed the superfecta. The top four were followed by Yao Ming, Bill Gates, Jet Li, Paul McCartney, Chuck Norris, Hillary Clinton, The Pope, George W. Bush, Osama Bin Laden and J.K. Rowling. Obama received nearly a billion more nods than the second place finisher. Despite eclipsing the leading Republican, Chuck Norris, by over 3 billion fist bumps, President Obama has not been asked for campaign help in many United States state and congressional horse races. This year the voters are angry and "Voters Gone Wild" is no sexy DVD as most candidates are taking crap like duck farmers. President Obama has been appearing for Democratic candidates where his appearances might help but the requests for political ObamaCare have been far fewer than his standing as the world's most popular living person would normally dictate.
October 16, 2010. worldwidenews.us
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