America Still Hanging On! After another month of negotiations no one knows if Uncle Sam can hang on long enough for a Congressional deal. Conservative Republicans are still acting erratically and seem intent on falling into the fiscal abyss but the crisis might be avoided with a simple up or down vote. December 29, 2012. Fiscal Cliff Notes |
NRA member offers protection for local school! Wants felony indictment dropped.
Sancho "Tio" Guzman says he can protect the local kindergarten kids from sick little gringo fucks with assault rifles but in exchange for his services he wants the cops to back off his drug dealing operation at the local high school. Guzman is an action movie fan but doesn't think violent movies are to blame for gun violence because he watches them and he's okay. Tio says he's been a NRA member since he was forced to relocate here 3 years ago and learned he had to join the NRA in order to use his machine gun at the local firing range. December 26, 2012. NRA Heroes Magazine |
NRA Head Goes Batshit Crazy! Wayne LaPierre wants armed guards in all
kindergartens! The real mission of the National Rifle Association has never been clearer. The sole purpose of the 141 year-old institution has always been to to sell more guns and despite being socially irresponsible and politically despicable they have succeeded wildly. Gun sales skyrocket after every new mass shooting of innocent civilians. December 21, 2012. Daily Diving News |
Is Scalia Ready For Gay Marriage? Supreme Court to decide gay marriage issues.
Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia has compared homosexuality with bestiality and is not expected to vote in accordance with the prevailing attitude of the American public. Scalia loves the attention he gets at paid speaking engagements for right wing groups but has become one of the biggest political hacks in court history. December 17, 2012. Juicy Judiciary News |
Cliff Dive Dangerous Or Not? Depends how deep the water is. A plunge into a surging wave of economic good news about growing demand and lower unemployment could turn the high dive into a refreshing splash. After all, the higher Clinton era tax rates on everybody proved to be no drag on a booming economy that produced 22 million jobs. The fiscal cliff debate could all be a lot of noise about a relatively minor event to the sport of cliff diving. December 14, 2012. Daily Diving News |
GOP Stooges Block Vote In House! Boehner still holding middle class tax cuts
hostage! If Speaker Boehner would allow a House vote on the Senate passed bill to continue the tax cuts for 98% of Americans and 97% of small businesses the bill would pass but Boehner could possibly lose his position as Speaker in an angry right wing mutiny. As usual, tea party Republicans in the House have put their own personal political agenda above the well being of the American people December 10, 2012. Stooge House News |
Jim Demint Resigns From Senate To Lead Right Wing Heritage Foundation! Prefers uniform and multimillion dollar paycheck! Jim Demint's move could be seen as a first step toward a run for President in 2016 if Demint actually had any political skills but, if anything, he's been a disaster for Republicans by backing and raising money for loser after loser tea party Senate candidate around the country. As the least wealthy member of the United States Senate Demint really needed the cash to keep up appearances because the free spending right wing phony blowhard tea party leader doesn't even own a tea pot to piss in. December 9, 2012. Think Tankard News |
Boehner Takes Hostages! Speaker backstabs American middle class for billionaire bosses! Republicans in the House led by Republican cartel leader John Boehner are holding 98% of working Americans and 97% of small businesses hostage in their mercenary war against the results of the last election. President Obama campaigned on the tax issue for months and voters overwhelmingly voted to raise tax rates on the billionaire robber barons who employ Boehner and his fellow Republicans now turned hostage takers. December 6, 2012. Capitol Crime Log |
House Republicans Gangnam Style! Can they get their act together in time? Celebrity psychologists agree group dance lessons are a great way to get a divided and partisan group to visualize the absolute necessity of working together to achieve good reults. December 1, 2012. Pysche Dance Digest |
Boehner Goes Gangnam! Speaker caught binge drinking with dance video! click on photo for music |
American Cliff Hanger! Will Uncle Sam and the U.S. economy hang on or go over the fiscal cliff? Congressional Republicans and Democrats must stop fighting and work together to avoid falling into the fiscal abyss. December 1, 2012. Auto Club Cliff Notes |
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Romney Popularity Plummets Out Of Orbit! Exiled landslide loser may join asteroid belt. Mitt Romney's popularity numbers have continued to fall like lead bricks since his humiliating defeat on election day. November 28, 2012. Astral Ejection News |
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