DAILY RACING RAG SPECIAL REPORT... Representative Ron Paul R-TX

Daily Racing Rag SPECIAL REPORT: The 2008 Presidential Campaign of Representative Ron Paul R-TX

Ron Paul Goes Home
Winless campaign wants to avoid embarrassing defeat...
"If I were to lose the primary for my congressional seat, all our opponents would react with glee, and pretend it was a rejection of our ideas. I cannot and will not let that happen". Feb 9. Texas Downs Advance Bet Window

Paul 72 Year Old Maiden
Ron Paul has not won a race anywhere but has plenty of cash...
Texas Congressman Ron Paul credits his barn for raising the money to keep him on the track despite no first or second place finishes. "Just feeding the horse has to be expensive"... January 26. Ron Paul Paddock Area CSI Miami Downs

Paul's Saucer Shot Down
Air Force mistakenly shoots down $6 million flying saucer...
Paul's campaign has been forced to switch to a hot air balloon to save money. Ron Paul thought the saucer project had been abandoned but since he has zero control over his own campaign the project went forward anyway. December 26. Manchester International Airport

Paul's Pimp Blacklash
"I was exflabbergasted and want my donation refunded now!"...
The Ron Paul campaign scored $500 from a Florida white power group but now an exasperated Miami Pimpmaster wants his cash back by midnight... December 21. Miami Massage and Racketball OTB

Paul Feeds The Masses
Mrs. Paul's fish sticks replaced on Christmas dinner menu...
Ron Paul decided to switch to the favorite food of his internet political advisors, Jesse The Spam Clown and Trigger, because Ron Paul's people just love Spam. December 16. Manchester HotSpot Raceway Cafe OTB

Pimp Pads Paul's Poll
Bunny Ranch brothel owner to raise money for Ron Paul...
Ron Paul advisor, Jesse the Spam Clown, says Ron Paul believes in freedom and there's no mention of pimps and hos in the U.S. Constitution. December 5. Bunny Ranch Nevada OTB

2nd Paul Blimp Grounded
Misspelling forces cancellation of two blimp campaign...
Ron Paul spokesman, Jessie the Spam Clown, said the error was regrettably due to a Brownsville, Texas sign painting contractor's use of non-english speaking painters who where later fired. December 1. Brownsville Downs Ractrack and Homeless Shelter

Paul Wins Diaper Derby
Paul poll shows babies prefer former baby doctor by 94% ...
Ron Paul advisor, Jesse the Spam Clown, says with the immature and restless tilt of our core supporter's psyche we needed a poll where Dr. Paul could win every day and now we have it. November 21. Des Moines Day Care Center OTB

Feds Pinch Paul's Pennies
Illegal currency seized in predawn raid on Ron Paul's pals ...
The Feds seized two tons of copper coins bearing the likeness of Congressman Ron Paul after complaints by an Indiana wishing well operator. No arrests were made. November 16. Indianapolis Gallery of 500 Games OTB

Ron Paul's Constitutional
Rep. Paul furious over foot tapping in GOP mens room...
Newly installed wiretaps recorded Paul's outburst yesterday morning at what another Republican Congressman said was just a practical joke. October 18. House of Representatives GOP Mens Room

Paul Nets Holy Mackerel!
Ron Paul shocks anglers by hauling in a whopping $5 million...
Congressman Paul said the school lunch fish stick generation has started a internet political revolution and they're welcome aboard his boat. October 4. Portsmouth Seafood Festival

Paul Skips Baghdad Derby
Congressman prefers pig racing at the Texas State Fair ...
Ron Paul's maverick preference for pig racing is a risky position that likely won't receive any support or make any friends with established interests in the horseracing industry. September 22. Texas State Fair Pig Racing Grandstand

Paul Prepares Spaceship
73 year old will take cult followers to distant planet... Sources say if his presidential bid fails Congressman Paul will gather his most faithful devotees and leave Earth for another planet. Ron Paul is perhaps best known for his role as TV's "My Favorite Martian". May 22. Texas Downs Advance Bet Window