2016 PRESIDENTIAL DERBY
JOE
BIDEN
25-1
JEB
BUSH
15-1
BEN
CARSON
80-1
INQUIRY TED
CRUZ
30-1
HILLARY
CLINTON
3-5
CHRIS
CHRISTIE
40-1
CARLY
FIORINA
80-1
INQUIRY LINDSEY
GRAHAM
50-1
MIKE
HUCKABEE
30-1
BOBBY
JINDAL
70-1
JOHN
KASICH
40-1
MARTIN
O'MALLEY
50-1
GEORGE
PATAKI
80-1
INQUIRY RAND
PAUL
30-1
MIKE
PENCE
50-1
RICK
PERRY
40-1
INQUIRY MARCO
RUBIO
40-1
PAUL
RYAN
50-1
BERNIE
SANDERS
70-1
RICK
SANTORUM
35-1
SCOTT
WALKER
20-1
JIM
WEBB
35-1
INQUIRY CURRENTLY IN PROGRESS OVER ALLEGED INTERFERENCE IN STRETCH RUN OF 2015 IRAN NUCLEAR NEGOTIATIONS DERBY
Daily Racing RagThe Daily Racing Rag
TRASH TALKIN'
SALE OF THE CENTURY
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RED STATE PIANO Is this another Music Man? No. But they got trouble with a capital T in River City, Indiana. After the legislature legalizes discrimination against gays and lesbians in Indiana an amazing majority of big name recording artists suddenly cancel all concerts and appearances in the state. The Indiana State Fair is left without any performers until Governor Mike Pence comes to the apparent rescue. Mike is a big fan of Pat Boone and know all his songs so he calls his friend Carly Fiorina who can carry a tune to help out with harmony and 90 minutes later their show biz career is born. Things seem to be going well until a flaming bag of horse poop is tossed on stage.
RED STATE PIANO
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RIGHT SAID TED 3 In this third installment of the TED franchise the sarcastic wise-cracking talking bear joins forces with a Texas politician and guides him to a new level of success. The other Ted played by Ted Cruz is poor foreign-born guy named Rafael who can't believe his good luck. Along the way Ted meets his soul bear and in a hilarious scene everybody ends up in bed in a furry romp with Sarah Palin and Donald Trump. Rafael's new travel companion played by Ted Williams head in a jar keeps this comedy edgy and provides a new level of creepiness to Ted Cruz wacko bird character. Based on early screenings it seems certain a sequel will be made.
RIGHT SAID TED 3
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TED CRUZ AND THE FOXTONES Timed to help promote his upcoming movie TED 3, Canada Why presents an extra added attraction for their 2015 summer concert series. Also the new CD dropped this week and a TV special will happen April 1st on FOX WHITE Cruz croons all the classic conservative standards and right wing favorites with precision back-up vocals from the ubiquitous Foxtones.
TED CRUZ AND THE FOXTONES
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BETTER CALL PAUL After the number one top music industry copyright litigation specialist reams Pharrell Williams for $9 million in an unprecedented lawsuit victory Cookie is worried one of her top-selling hip hop rapper recording artists, 50 Cent, won't be worth a dime unless she hires the same lawyer to prevent him from suing any artist on her record label. She forks over a $2 million retainer and instructs the little man with the Phil Spector afro-do to sue every money making hip hop artist on her rival's record label. Unknown to her Paul has already made the same secret deal with five other labels and is planning to use that money to pursue political office as a Republican.
BETTER CALL PAUL
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BUBBLECAMP Hysteria Channel presents another great episode in their series of historical mysteries about when mass hysteria causes irrational mindless behavior leading to the disappearance and likely deaths of hundreds of misguided souls. Late in the summer of 2014 not too far from the original English settlements in Jamestown Virginia a group of 24 Heritage University political science students were participating in a total immersion conservative indoctrination exercise when they mysteriously and completely vanished. Investigators theorize the group had been infiltrated by religious zealots considered too far right even for a far right conservative institution. "They must have influenced the group to do something crazy." was the conclusion of several law enforcement agencies investigating the baffling disappearance.
BUBBLECAMP
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HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 3 Lindsey Graham stars in this nostalgic look back at his childhood that partially explains why Graham is the lowest of low-tech legislators in Washington D.C. He's never sent an email or fax in his life and has no idea what a Tweet or Instagram is. He just recently started carrying a 15 year old flip-phone his granddaughter found and gave him but he hasn't tried it out yet saying it's too small. Graham is considering a run for the Republican presidential nomination based on the idea that we desperately need the most modern military in the world and he would be a forward thinking and tough Commander in Chief.
HOT TUB TIME MACHINE 3
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SCORCH STREET Your sesame seed buns will get toasted watching this new GOP-TV morning TV show as the "World In Flames" is the theme today and every day in Ted Cruz latest self-promotional propaganda reach around to children and intellectually or emotionally underdeveloped adults. His previous efforts included comic books but as Count DraCruzla his counting games afford him countless opportunities to embed long lists of Republican dogma deep into the preschooler subconscious mind which can later be exploited when the totality of the phenomenon of cognitive dissonance is exploitable for maximum political effect. New Top Ten lists are counted out in rhyme to a throbbing bass and drum beat. Week one is a hip hop acid heavy countdown of the Top Ten ways Obamacare will make your stuffed animals ignite in flames.
SCORCH STREET
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WORLD'S BIGGEST Each week MSDNC will feature a new person place or thing but only if it is the world's biggest. Episode One features the world's biggest bus which measures an incredible 121 feet long and has a capacity of 325 which is being custom prepared for the Hillary Clinton 2016 Presidential campaign. Since it is the world's biggest bus the campaign had thought they would only need the one bus however with the recent behavior of Republican Senators including four GOP Presidential candidates demand for $5000 contribution bus tickets has skyrocketed to the point the campaign may need five of these mega-buses to accommodate Democrats eager to start the campaign. Tickets will serve as unique cross-country bus passes and the bus or buses are scheduled to visit all key battleground states and potentially hundreds of Hillary Clinton events with enthusiastic folks boarding at every stop in America.
WORLD'S BIGGEST
CARTOON SALOON The Huckleberry Bar is the local watering hole for these cartoon characters. They like to come in every afternoon about sundown and drink beer and talk crazy talk. But ever since Huckleberry installed the big screen TV folks just seem to talk a whole lot crazier than they used to. Tune in every Saturday to find out what's happening at the Huckleberry. With Huckleberry Cotton, Yogi and Boo Boo Bush, Quickdraw Cruz, Baba Rubio, Snagglepuss Walker and more.
CARTOON SALOON
DAILY RACING RAG BIG SPECIAL EDITION - SPRING previews of new movies and new TV or online series, special programs and movies!
HUCKLEBERRY COTTON EXPLAINS STUFF LIKE THAT THERE (this week) WORLD DIPLOMACY Named for his father's favorite TV star 36 year-old Arkansas Senator Huckleberry Tom Cotton grew up where folks and neighbors pitched in with the schoolin' as they didn't have no regular teacher or schoolhouse. Well young Tom lit off and joined the service and then went on to the highest of high cotton schools. All the way to a place called Harvard which is a university. Well when Huckleberry come home to Arkansas he was all growed up and so smart that folks reckoned he knew just about everything there was to know so they asked Tom if he'd start explaining things on the TV. So he did. Arkansans now know that the USA is the world's only superpower and we call the shots for the entire world and since Huckleberry is now a U.S. Senator he calls the shots for the entire world. So world diplomacy is really just a simple-as-pie chore of tellin' the world what Huckleberry Cotton wants.
HUCKLEBERRY COTTON EXPLAINS
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TRAITORS This riveting suspense TV drama has an unusually large cast and is unlike anything you've ever seen and especially unlike anything ever seen in America. In this tense political drama 47 U.S. Senators write an insulting and taunting letter to Iranian leaders asserting that these 47 Senators hold the real true power in America and to ignore what America's President and the U.S. State Department say about anything. The Senators also demand a complete annihilation of all Iranian nuclear facilities, nuclear materials, nuclear textbooks and all glow-in-the-dark flashlights. Surprisingly Iran agrees to all demands and invite all 47 Republicans to Tehran for treaty signing ceremonies and festivities. And then something goes horribly wrong...! Warning (not a spoiler) Do not miss a single episode of this show ever.
§ 953. Private correspondence with foreign governments. Any citizen of the United States, wherever he may be, who, without authority of the United States, directly or indirectly commences or carries on any correspondence or intercourse with any foreign government or any officer or agent thereof, with intent to influence the measures or conduct of any foreign government or of any officer or agent thereof, in relation to any disputes or controversies with the United States, or to defeat the measures of the United States, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than three years, or both. This section shall not abridge the right of a citizen to apply himself, or his agent, to any foreign government, or the agents thereof, for redress of any injury which he may have sustained from such government or any of its agents or subjects. 1 Stat. 613, January 30, 1799, codified at 18 U.S.C. § 953 (2004).
TRAITORS
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RAIDERS OF BENGHAZI AND THE LOST EMAIL OF THE COVENANT In this season's continuing saga investigators Gowdy and Issa think they've struck the pharaoh's gold when they can't find the lost email of the covenant that vanished into a netherworld or was never sent or was electronically extracted from the hard drives of hundreds of machines and servers after a complex tubular routing. Realizing they've found nothing the pair celebrate with a high five knowing that since they are still searching they can subpoena Hillary Clinton for a fourth and fifth time and that means ratings and after 17 committees and even more hearings and investigations Raiders Of Benghazi has become the longest running mini-series TV Guido can remember including the many years of his youth in Italy.
RAIDERS OF BENGHAZI
DAILY RACING RAG BIG SPECIAL EDITION - SPRING previews of new movies and new TV or online series, special programs and movies!
BAMA After the major motion picture SELMA and the 50th anniversary celebration on the Pettis bridge in Selma the next anniversary and major historical movie release will be on May 17. Fifty years ago on that day the popular white racist Alabama Governor George Wallace who once received over 20% of the U.S. Presidential vote stood in the doorway of the University Of Alabama to prevent two African American students from enrolling. Ted Cruz does a masterful job portraying two truly despicable human beings in a demanding dual role that already has awards gossip buzz for best supporting actor based on sneak peaks alone.
BAMA
DAILY RACING RAG BIG SPECIAL EDITION - SPRING previews of new movies and new TV or online series, special programs and movies!
BOEHNER CAVES President Obama is able to make two constituent groups happy with one signature designating America's newest national monument. Boehner Caves National Monument is located in the ancient landscape of the northeast corner of New Mexico. Locked in a box canyon and accessible by only one road the monument consists of a complex matrix of caves both above and below ground level and 456 acres of the surrounding grassy area that is feed by a natural spring. Obama also declares the monument a permanent refuge for retired circus elephants and 13 elephants from Barnum and Bailey's circus immediately move into the caves. These hard working senior elephants seem as delighted with their new home as the animal rights activists and environmentalists who are present and in fine spirits.
BOEHNER CAVES
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NEW! DAILYRACINGRAG.COM ACTIVATES LIVE POLITICAL ACTION CAMERA People need the latest breaking news and a live feed from DailyRacingRag.com's exclusive Political Action Camera aims to help fill that need 24/7...
REPUBLICAN LEADERSHIP IN ACTIONBOEHNER LEADS THE CHARGE
AMERICAN GUTTERSNIPER Bill O'Reilly stars in another special report where Bill reminisces about his career as a creative journalistic stylist and critic of anything he doesn't like on one of the highest rated cable news programs in America. Bill recalls his time in Iraq he spent with Chris Kyle who Bill called a great pal and fan club member who carried a worn autographed photo of Bill in his wallet. In fact Bill likes to remind folks that between the two of them they were credited with more than 160 confirmed sniper kills. Over the many years of personal fame and glory Bill has taken to labeling any and all critics who point out his tendency to exaggerate as liars and guttersnipes and like Liam Neeson he has promised to go after those people with everything he's got. However because of his same tendency to exaggerate there is an ongoing dispute among celebrity watchers as to what he's got.
AMERICAN GUTTERSNIPER
DAILY RACING RAG BIG SPECIAL EDITION - SPRING previews of new movies and new TV or online series, special programs and movies!
LAST DAY IN HELL Being a speaker for a terrorist organization is a thankless job as Jihadi John Boehner finds out in this grim new drama. Targeted for a coup by the American Tea Taliban for not being terrifying enough Jihadi John feels unappreciated. After the thousands of public lies he's told requiring sincere creative efforts he is rewarded with contempt from all sides especially by those he's tried hardest to appease. Despondent and pondering his future as bartender in his little dive bar back in East Cincinnati Boehner makes one last ruthless attempt to satisfy the Obamahate of his American Tea Taliban tormenters.
LAST DAY IN HELL
DAILY RACING RAG BIG SPECIAL EDITION - SPRING previews of new movies and new TV or online series, special programs and movies!
STRAW MEN - 2015 CPAC STRAW DERBY GOP-TV Sports has released their video of the 2015 CPAC Straw Derby where once again Rand Paul was the winner. Rand Paul and before him his father Ron Paul routinely win this event every year and this year was no exception so the big story this year was the surprising strong second place finish by Wisconsin's union-busting Governor Scott Walker. The problem with this event is that it in no way resembles the larger Republican electorate simply because the average age of attendees is 25 years younger. These are young ambitious people of whom about 20% are star struck celebrity autograph seekers while about 30% are ideological true believers and 50% are budding sociopaths looking for easy opportunity. After a lot of drinking then pontificating and then more drinking the horse race was a slow moving event as straw horses like straw men don't hold up on the race track despite the grass course being in good condition.
STRAW MEN - 2015 CPAC STRAW DERBY
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HOW TO PLAY TOGETHER AND ALL THAT JAZZ After several months of amateur hour fumbles fits and starts it became obvious to all that Republicans could no more govern America than they could turn back time. The GOP somehow became an out of tune garage band with an endless parade of whiny voice wannabe lead singers and no musicians who can play together without fighting. Democrats are a smooth jazz combo and nearly a symphony orchestra by comparison when it comes to a cooperative spirit and harmony. Republicans are so far out of sync with each other and so constantly angry that even they start to realize the noise they make is anything but music to the ears of Americans. How long will Americans listen to the gawdawful noise coming from Republicans? You'll have to watch the movie to find out.
ALL THAT JAZZ
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CSI UNITED STATES CONGRESS TV's favorite familiar crime drama franchise expands to Washington D.C. and specifically to the halls of the United States Congress which many consider the home of many of the biggest crimes in American history. After gaining power over both the House and Senate many Republicans thought they might be able to implement the GOP billionaire sponsored agenda but petty infighting and squabbling within the GOP immediately escalates like a power struggle in a third world drug cartel and brings all governance to a standstill. When the Department of Homeland Security is shut down as a result of stubborn Tea Party types refusal to compromise law enforcement warns Congress they are endangering the lives of Americans but nothing is done and when the deadly and inevitable result occurs Congressional leaders are left sobbing and crying like impotent incompetent jackasses. Rated R for violence bad language and patriotic revulsion.
CSI UNITED STATES CONGRESS
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The Daily Racing Rag
Daily Racing Rag DAILY RACING RAG EXCLUSIVE SPECIAL REPORTS!
If everybody else had these exclusive special reports they wouldn't be exclusive or special.
S P E C I A L
R E P O R T S
Greg Abbott
Michele Bachmann
Haley Barbour
Joe Biden
Marsha Blackburn

John Boehner John Boehner
Mike Bloomberg
John Bolton
Scott Brown
Cliven Bundy

George W. Bush George W. Bush

Jeb Bush Jeb Bush
Herman Cain
Eric Cantor
Ben Carson
Liz & Dick Cheney

Chris Christie Chris Christie
John Cornyn
Ann Coulter

Hillary Clinton Hillary Clinton

Ted Cruz Ted Cruz
Mitch Daniels
Wendy Davis
Jim Demint
Joni Ernst

FOX News FOX News
Game Of Thrones

Newt Gingrich Newt Gingrich
Rudy Giuliani

Gohmertville Louie Gohmert
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Mike Huckabee Mike Huckabee
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Illuminati
Laura Ingraham

Darrell Issa Darrell Issa

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Koch Brothers Koch Brothers
Charles Krauthammer

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Mitch McConnell Mitch McConnell

Rupert Murdoch Rupert Murdoch

National Rifle Association National Rifle Association
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President Barack Obama President Barack Obama
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Ron Paul
Mike Pence

Rick Perry Rick Perry
Reince Priebus
Vladimir Putin

Harry Reid Harry Reid
Condoleeza Rice
Phil Robertson

Mitt Romney Mitt Romney
Karl Rove

Marco Rubio Marco Rubio

Paul Ryan Paul Ryan
Bernie Sanders

Rick Santorum Rick Santorum
Steve Scalise

Rick Scott Rick Scott
John Thune
Tea Party
Donald Trump

Uncle Sam Uncle Sam

Antonin Scalia U.S. Supreme Court

Scott Luke Walker Scott Walker

Allen West Allen West

Pitbush - Rebelution
The Daily Racing Rag
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In case you forgot revisit the classic 2012 Presidential Derby... Obama vs. Romney
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Obama led wire to wire and was still moving like a winner down the stretch! November 6, 2012
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Marijuana Users Win 2014 Elections!
Many Democrats lost as well as a few Republicans.

However the big winners are marijuana users in Oregon and Alaska where voters approved the legalization of recreational marijuana joining the states of Washington and Colorado who legalized recreational marijuana in 2012. In Oregon adults will now be able to legally possess up to 8 ounces of marijuana in their homes and up to one ounce in public. New revenue raised from sales and marijuana taxes for the State of Oregon could be as much as $50 million per year in addition to reduced law enforcement costs. In Alaska adults will be able possess up to one ounce of marijuana and grow three mature plants. Advocates say these victories in a conservative leaning midterm election indicate people are tired of being lied to by their government and want the wasteful and ineffective war on drugs, people and marijuana to end. The Daily Racing Rag applauds the common sense of voters in these states and participated in a post-election celebration.
November 6, 2014. Online News Casino
Oregon Legalizes Marijuana
Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert.

Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then...Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.
Anwar al-Awlaki's Final Seconds
Jump in the time machine and revisit the classic 2008 Presidential Derby... Obama vs. McCain
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