Daily Racing RagThe Daily Racing Rag
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WAR MOVIE THEATER 2017 War movies are expected to be huge in 2017 with several new wars eagerly anticipated by a new President who wants to win wars because winners win wars and since mystery and science are now passe the MST3000 robots have seamlessly switched to wisecracking through old war movies from years past.
WAR MOVIE THEATER 2017
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AWKWARD LIBERTY - AMERICA HAS A NEW SET OF RULES This BBN documentary sheds a harsh light on the new presumed reality that Lady Liberty is a mercenary slut with fake tits and a billionaire sugar daddy. And while she is eager for immigrants with loads of money if you come empty-handed you'll get none of this tramp's ass.
LIBERTY IS NOW AWKWARD - AMERICA HAS A NEW SET OF RULES
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WESTWORLD - SEASON 2 After Dr. Robert Ford died at the end of Season One his much shorter twin brother Edsel assumes control of the new American History Park and presents to the board a new narrative ending with the emotionally charged seaside conclusion of a world-changing and eternally infamous 21st century love triangle.
WESTWORLD - SEASON 2
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FLYNN RIDER Flynn Rider was a young man when we last saw him in TANGLED wooing Rapunzel but now his problems are much bigger as he is sought by the King as an accessory to a traitor for helping his son escape the kingdom after illegally gaining a security clearance and circulating dangerous rumors about the monarchy.
FLYNN RIDER
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WESTWORLD - SEASON 2 After watching Season One a very influential billionaire buys into Devos Corp. and another narrative is created where his true love and first bride from forty years earlier remains a young and beautiful host and completely unaware of the horrible things he did to her and intends to do again with every new visit.
WESTWORLD - SEASON 2
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FLIP and FLOP with SARAH PALIN and PAT McCRORY After finding success as politicians and then experiencing the drastic downside of an election defeat this team of former Republican Governors switched career gears and now buy distressed properties from people who are sick and forced to sell because of the repeal of Obamacare.
FLIP and FLOP with SARAH PALIN and PAT McCRORY
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FASHION NATION presents PROJECT RUNAWAY President Trump rips out the White House bowling alley and installs a fashion show runway with a state of the art lighting and sound system and makes Ivanka parade back and forth in sexy sheer outfits while bad boy Baby Donald chases her playfully with a wooden clothes hanger.
FASHION NATION presents PROJECT RUNAWAY
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MOM At 5'1" Special Agent Leroy Gibbs Gonzalez was too short for many assignments that required a taller man for certain undercover work except for cases involving children whom he discovered he had an affinity with. When he reached retirement age he started a special school to prepare youngsters for careers as Special Agents.
NCIS - KIDS ONLY - NATIONAL CHILDRENS INVESTIGATION SCHOOL PSA
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MOM Ivanka has her hands full with two children and maintaining her newfound duties in her White House job when her passive-aggressive step-mother, Melania, a recovering fashion model re-enters the picture by moving in from her New York penthouse residence, brimming with criticisms about Ivanka's attitude, style and wardrobe.
MOM
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PURE PENIS In this new medical drama series a young Manhattan billionaire buys a state of the art hospital that saved his father's life when he choked on an inter-uterine device but becomes obsessed with maximizing profits and enrages his Chief of Staff and brother Donald Dick Jr. an expert in the field of penis transplantation surgery.
PURE PENIS
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TWO BLACK HANNITYS This new comedy centers around the bastard twin sons of a white American journalist who impregnated their mother while visiting South Africa and their struggle to find the big break that might lead to a position reading the news and interviewing celebrities on South Africa's most popular television news station.
TWO BLACK HANNITYS
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HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER After an all night Tweet storm a billionaire decides he's had enough of political correctness and buys a popular television drama series and moves it to his new network(TMN) where he has Annalise and the gays murdered and hands ownership of the law firm over to Bonnie because she's white.
HOW TO GET AWAY WITH MURDER
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INCARNATE Alex Jones and the Ghost of Briebart join veteran actor Donald J. Trump as demons gone mad in this terrifying thriller. The wildly off balance trio tap into the subconscious mind of their tormented followers and lead them blindly onto a gilded but blood-soaked circular escalator leading ever-downward into a sulfuric boiling abyss.
INCARNATE
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WESTWORLD - SEASON 2 Season two brings the addition of an American History Park where guests may interact with famous historical characters played by the hosts. Kellyanne plays a overburdened political spokeswoman but can stand no more and keeps varying from her loop to kill herself hoping to wake up with a better candidate.
WESTWORLD - SEASON 2
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DONALD J. TRUMP starring as the TWITSTER A new superhero/villian comes to Washington who is part man/baby and part bird. Hovering high above the hoi polloi the Twitster is superior at condescending insults and general malicious mendacity and at the slightest resistance drops a tweet storm of bird poop with laser guided accuracy.
DONALD J. TRUMP starring in TWITSTER
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EDGE OF TOMORROW - PRAY. KILL. REPEAT This is Mike Flynn's first starring role and he is utterly convincing in his role as an obsessed officer who lusts for killing alien Islamapods wherever he finds them while hunting down the Bigdaddy Pod whom he considers to be a malignant cancer that must be excised by any and all means.
EDGE OF TOMORROW - PRAY. KILL. REPEAT.
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TRUMP BLOODS After Danny Reagan is fired from the NYPD for throwing an undocumented tree trimmer into a wood chipper Commissioner Reagan decides to accept the new Republican President's offer and establish an elite corps of extra-judicial enforcers with complete Presidential immunity for the Trump Presidency and empire.
TRUMP BLOODS
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RULES DON'T APPLY Trump Media Network(TMN) continues an impressive roll-out of new programs for 2017 including this new weekly drama "FLYOVER AMERICA" about a group of millennials living their lives in an America that is very much different from the expectations of people living on both coasts and in major urban areas.
RULES DON'T APPLY
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ALABAMA JUSTICE When the President authorizes the Attorney General to assemble a deportation force Beauregard knows exactly where to look. After visiting just three trailer parks he leads an angry march across the Alabama River to the Hormel Catfish factory where they suspect some Mexican nationals might be working illegally.
ALABAMA JUSTICE
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NAUSEA HEARTBURN INDIGESTION UPSET STOMACH GIULIANI Weird Waylon E. Lee and the Pepto Bismo Boys released a catchy country dance video that has "Done burnt up the You Tube" according to Weird Waylon who also says "It weren't easy moving to Nashville and until this hit video everything else had been goin' to crap".
NAUSEA HEARTBURN INDIGESTION UPSET STOMACH GIULIANI
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WESTWORLD - SEASON 2 Season two brings the addition of an American History Park where guests may interact with famous historical characters played by the hosts. Ford assures an incredulous Bernard that these two hosts were never real people when Bernard wonders aloud as to what was the inspiration for the story line of their loop.
WESTWORLD - SEASON 2
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SISTERS 2 Melanjia's much older half-sister finally comes to America from Slovenia to visit her sister in New York City. Through the course of multiple conversations they discover that Malignija's mother and Malanjia's aunt had slept with Donald's father posing the awkward possibility that Melanjia may have married a blood relative.
SISTERS 2
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INDEPENDENCE DAY - REGURGITANTS In this Orwellian fantasy on steroids not only has the false become the true, the bad become the good and the ugly become the beautiful, in a horrifying and evil twist the past has become the future. TV Guido says this intense drama is of a dystopian parallel universe that falls off the bars... hard.
INDEPENDENCE DAY - REGURGITANTS
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THE 2017 INAUGURAL BALL Eric Trump gets a chance to practice his master of ceremony and emcee skills hosting the 2017 Presidential Inaugural Ball for the new Trump Media Network(TMN). Staring early next year he'll also be hosting a new prime time quiz show TRUMP JEOPARDY where all the categories are labeled Trump.
ERIC TRUMP HOSTS THE 2017 INAUGURAL BALL
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INFOJIZZ.COM 2017 brings a cornucopia of conspiracy theory shows and the new Trump Media Network is first out of the box with Thom Jones INFOJIZZ.COM. Broadcast live from the Trump International golf course in Scotland Jones exposes shocking world-changing secrets and closes each show by singing one of his many hit songs.
INFOJIZZ.COM
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THE BIGGEST LOSER It all seemed miraculous. How could one person be so lucky? He won every primary election. Then he won the general election. But by the time he was to take office the Articles of Impeachment had grown to the size of Encyclopedia Brittanica and he was forced to resign from office before he even took office.
THE BIGGEST LOSER
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CELEBRITY HALLOWEEN The party was just for fun and they had partied together many times before but this time when one couple showed up as Kanye West and Kim Kardashian a wave of sadness and nostalgia overtook the party. Every single one of the other old white guys were over 70 post heart attack and had totally dead dicks.
CELEBRITY HALLOWEEN
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THE TRUMPFORD WIVES A New York billionaire played by Donald Trump explodes in a violent rage and rips his third Trumpford robot wife into 1000 pieces after her programmers either by mistake or deliberate sabotage embarrass the billionaire when she publicly criticizes his habits of online bullying and despicable public discourse.
THE TRUMPFORD WIVES
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TRUMPWORLD A New York billionaire played by Donald Trump arranges financing for the construction of a robot theme park in order to relive the debauchery and sex addicted lifestyle he had enjoyed in his younger days but after a hack attack triggers an analysis he discovers his children have already built his own robot replacement.
TRUMPWORLD
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RIGGED A naive New York billionaire played by veteran actor Donald Trump in his 100th movie role misplaces his trust in Bright Bart a former pirate who convinces him to transfer his assets to an offshore island only once they reach the 100 mile limit offshore Bright Bart orders the crew to tie up the billionaire and lash him to the main rigging.
RIGGED
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LAW AND ORDER SVU After a complaint of a serial groper on a private jet shuttle service Sgt. Olivia Benson goes undercover on the same plane as the suspected groper. She pretends to fall asleep until the groper makes his move and grabs her. After she arrests him he whines like an 8 year old until Olivia cold cocks him with a right cross.
LAW AND ORDER SVU
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CRASH Similar to but not nearly as interesting as the prior Oscar winning film of the same name this is an intimate study of the lives of multiple women in multiple locations who share as a common thread a fateful bus crash they survived. The after effects of the trauma on their lives and their already sad and miserable relationships is profound.
CRASH
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POLITICAL APPRENTICE This is not only the first Trump Media Network production but also the first to be picked up on a non-Trump channel. Former sex workers vie for political points catering to every whim of the white rapper and former politician Top Bun. Katrina Hurricane is back after her world sex tour ended with six weeks in Dubai.
POLITICAL APPRENTICE
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THE GRABBER This new film from ButtHealth is about how a lifetime of grabbing, groping, kissing, fondling, fingering and fooling around haven't slowed this 70 year-old testosterone buzzed billionaire. Women in his life learn to always keep hands covering crotch not realizing that in his mind they are signalling "please grab my butt!".
THE GRABBER
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PUSSY - THE MOST POWERFUL WORD IN POLITICS A 70 year-old billionaire turned politician is amazed at his perceived superpowers to attract attention and inspire devotion from his enthusiastic followers. He insults half of America and the world before he discovers nothing moves the noise needle like his favorite naughty word.
PUSSY
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FOR SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL Faced with a moral dilemma Grandpa Mike knows it is up to him to save mankind from the spawn of the devil but can't bring himself to rid the planet of the same being that may bring about the end of the human species and instead hopes the devil child will gorge himself to death on Werther's Original candies.
FOR SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL
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THE MOST DEPLORABLE MAN IN THE WORLD By the time he was 18 he had committed seven deadly sins... for every letter of the alphabet. In this episode The Most Deplorable Man in the World sends his third wife Melania to Antarctica to learn about penguins and then goes on a honeymoon type vacation his daughter Ivanka.
THE MOST DEPLORABLE MAN IN THE WORLD
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PUTIN'S LIL BITCH Russian TV executives do not worry about offending Americans because "What do they know the shows are spoken in Russian". This new show on RT follows that tradition to the extreme with this merciless ridicule of an American billionaire buffoon who is known all across Russia by the nickname of Putin's Lil Bitch.
PUTIN'S LIL BITCH
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THE CRIMINAL MIND As a master criminal and Type A personality a well known billionaire literally owns the souls of his inner circle of blood clones and running mate. He mesmerizes them with his knowledge of the art of the scam as well as cleverly training them to repeatedly proclaim their leader a genius after every successful criminal con.
THE CRIMINAL MIND
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CHESTWORLD She has been programmed to be the perfect 10 sexbot and was designed specifically to please the billionaire owner of the theme park but after several months of daily usage her artificial intelligence evolves to imagine and potentially commit scenes of violent retribution on her creator and her many abusers with combovers.
CHESTWORLD
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FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE SPECTRE an international banking network owned by criminal Russian oligarchs demands payment on past due payments from the Trump Organization and orders the kidnapping of Junior. SPECTRE agent Melania seduces Junior and convinces him to accompany her to Moscow where the snatch is made.
FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE
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MR. ROBUTT Donald is a billionaire oligarch by day but can't resist his anarchist urges to take down the heads of the same American political system that helped make his accumulation of a massive fortune possible. He calls on his invisible golf whisperer and alter ego, Mr. Robutt, to help plot the takeover of a major political party.
MR. ROBUTT
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SHERLOCK HOLMES in BAIT AND SWITCH Sherlock Holmes investigates a series of murders of wealthy gentlemen where circumstances indicate they were lured to their deaths and robberies by the attractive former spokeswomen for a political candidate who was actually a demon that devoured their souls and turned them into killers.
SHERLOCK HOLMES in BAIT AND SWITCH
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THE NO BLACKSLIST A New York City billionaire inherits $200 million worth of whites only apartment buildings that had always denied renting to blacks since the 1930's. After her death his mother reappears as an angry racist ghost that only he can see and hear. She rants at him constantly about keeping the blacks out of their buildings.
THE NO BLACKSLIST
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C'EST FAUX (THAT'S WRONG) This French film is a deep dive into a despicable billionaire debauchee's disgusting daily dose of devilry and decadence. His daughter's dumbstruck devotion devolves into a dirty and dangerous depression after she learns the vastness of her victimhood. Even TV Guido showered after this filthy film.
C'EST FAUX (THAT'S WRONG)
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THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES - AUDIO BOOK The Emperor's New Clothes is an up to date non-fiction retelling of the short tale by Hans Christian Andersen about two election campaign pros who promise a presidential candidate a new set of issues that are visible only to those who are deplorable racists, haters and incompetents.
THE EMPEROR'S NEW CLOTHES - AUDIO BOOK
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UMP - MAKING HATE SAFE IN AMERICA AGAIN The all white Ku Klux Klan hadn't won a pennant since the 1950's largely because their uniforms made it damn hard to see the baseball but all of that started to change with the arrival of a certain umpire and after beating 16 other teams the Klansmen were finally back in the fall classic.
UMP - MAKING HATE SAFE IN AMERICA AGAIN
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RUMP - MAKE AMERICA GAIN AGAIN After convincing millions of Americans climate change is a gigantic hoax aimed at keeping egghead scientists overpaid and employed a billionaire politician attacks healthy food and eating habits convincing his cousins in Florida to go on an eating binge in a race for first to reach 400 pounds.
RUMP - MAKE AMERICA GAIN AGAIN
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ZOMBIEPOCALYPSE A political rally turns into a mob at the urging of a racist presidential candidate when several protestors interrupt his hateful speech. The crowd beats the protestors to death and then rips the bodies apart to feed on them only to accidentally ingest powerful psychedelic drugs causing a hilarious mass suicide at a sawmill.
ZOMBIEPOCALYPSE
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HOW TO TOADY A BILLIONAIRE Kellyanne Conway makes her debut as a ball-licking contortionist sycophant who wallows in Mar-a-Largo sewage because billionaires shit diamonds and she's convinced herself that she's a worthless worm who must do all she can to destroy American values in order to please a billionaire monster.
HOW TO TOADY A BILLIONAIRE
THIS IS NOT GOD'S SIGNATURE Presidential candidate Donald Trump receives a hand written endorsement letter signed by God and seeks to verify the signature on a syndicated interfaith Christian TV show. Host Joel Osteen uses a lifeline call to confer with Pope Francis but sadly for the candidate the signature cannot be verified.
THIS IS NOT GOD'S SIGNATURE
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THE MOST DEPLORABLE MAN IN THE WORLD By the time he was 18 he had committed seven deadly sins... for every letter of the alphabet. In this episode The Most Deplorable Man in the World hogties his third wife Melania after her immigration story lies are revealed and proposes a secret marriage to his daughter Ivanka.
THE MOST DEPLORABLE MAN IN THE WORLD
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LAW TO ORDER - TEXAS In order to avoid prosecution for 230 federal felony tax violations a New York billionaire is forced to work for the DOJ Public Curruption Unit as a public operations spy (POS) where he becomes instrumental in destroying the careers of the many corrupt public officials he had previously bribed with cash contributions.
LAW TO ORDER - TEXAS
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IVANABURGER With his rise in public awareness and notoriety a New York billionaire is besieged by illegitimate children he fathered in the 1990's asking for money. Three daughters all conceived at a 1991 Swedish bikini team orgy appear at his door asking for love and funding to finance their Ivanaburger chain of hamburger restaurants.
IVANABURGER
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LAW TO ORDER In order to avoid prosecution for 230 federal felony tax violations a New York billionaire is forced to work for the DOJ Public Curruption Unit as a public operations spy (POS) where he becomes instrumental in destroying the careers of the many corrupt public officials he had previously bribed with cash contributions.
LAW TO ORDER - FLORIDA
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THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN LAYER BURRITO Dandy Don heads south of the border in yet another attempt to collect on a $12 million judgement that his lawyers won in a Mexican courtroom. In Mexico Trump runs into a wall of silence about the money and settles for a free magnificent seven layer burrito after he refuses to pay for it.
THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN LAYER BURRITO
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THREE PENDEJOS Three right wing gringos talk themselves into a frenzy and lather discussing the money Dandy Don is owed from a lawsuit he won in Mexico but can't collect. After promising Sheriff Joe and Senator Jeff a big share of the proceeds the three suit up and head south of the border to face the Mexican Enrique "Bandito" Pena.
THREE PENDEJOS
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DON'T BREATHE Dandy Don the Billionaire Con is in a pinch when a $2 billion balloon payment comes due on his deal with Russian mobster oligarchs. After he gets a tip that a Palm Beach neighbor, the Grim Reaper, who is also blind has $10 billion in cash hidden somewhere in his unlit mansion Don decides to break in and steal the money.
DON'T BREATHE
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THE SECRET LIFE OF RACIST LAWN JOCKEYS Ever since a delivery truck crushed his predecessor at the foot of the driveway Donald had been the boss among the plantation's many concrete lawn jockeys and garden gnomes but his reign of terror is threatened when paint flakes suggest his original black color had been painted over.
THE SECRET LIFE OF RACIST LAWN JOCKEYS
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THE 70 YEAR OLD ROOKIE After being lampooned at a swank country club event about a widely ridiculed letter from his doctor claiming this 70 year old billionaire was as healthy as a major league ballplayer Dandy Don sets out to make the hometown baseball team but is forced to buy the entire organization just to get a big league at-bat.
THE 70 YEAR OLD ROOKIE
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DON'T THINK TWICE Southern bred sit-coms may be the new trend for 2017 as an eagerness for ignorance among American TV viewers is insatiable. No one doubts that nobody including the writers or actors ever thought twice when they decided to put together this hit hillbilly farce that has been welcomed like oxycontin to it's fan base.
DON'T THINK TWICE
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TRUE GRIFT After winning the Western Wax Museum in a poker game the new owner installs a nude Donald Trump at a podium exactly where wax Hailee Steinfeld had been standing in a scene from classic movie western TRUE GRIT. Wax John Wayne gets mighty riled and within days nude wax Trump is found riddled with wax bullets.
TRUE GRIFT
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WARGAME TRUMP The latest in the WARGAME series allows you to choose the President Trump avatar and bomb the shit out of anybody and everybody on planet earth. If other players resist your moves of conquest you can go nuclear with a simple voice command and kill millions of people in mere minutes. UV Rated for Ultra Violence.
WARGAME TRUMP
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THE PRETZEL PRINCESS Ivanka returns from her visit to Croatia and Crimea and eagerly shows her Daddy what she learned from her new best female friend who just happens to be Vladimir Putin's current girlfriend. Daddy is so proud of his Pretzel Princess he gives her a great big upside down wet kiss and hugs her close to him.
THE PRETZEL PRINCESS
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PROFILES IN COWARDICE - DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE King Donald sends word of his displeasure with colonists demanding independence and threatens the lives of his agents known as Republicans and confiscates their properties in England. They quickly offer apologies and draft a declaration swearing their loyalty to the King.
PROFILES IN COWARDICE - DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE
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CLOCKWORK ORANGE Donald Trump's very first film starred his future third wife and was ignored when released but has become a cult favorite as it is truly as queer as a clockwork orange. Trump's character narrates but appears onscreen only as a shadow. The illusion of someone normal soon dissolves into a reality of batshit craziness.
CLOCKWORK ORANGE
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MELANIA TRUMP - WHITE HOUSE TOUR This video game has a nude Melania Trump giving a tour of the White House where players can remodel the White House with help from Home Depot salespeople. In Level 2 advanced players can accompany nude Melania Trump touring exclusive home remodeling projects of the ultra wealthy.
MELANIA TRUMP - WHITE HOUSE TOUR
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RED DON After winning the Republican party nomination and stealing the U.S. Presidency Red Don assassinates or imprisons all remaining political opposition and reveals his true identity as a Russian oligarch, Vladimir Donald Juka Drumpkinov. He then invalidates the U.S. Constitution and Bill Of Rights and finally discards his orange wig.
RED DON
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THE SONS OF MY FATHERS If doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity then the entire human race is and always has been insane. This documentary series takes a deep dive into hundreds of seemingly incredible coincidences that have amazingly replayed throughout human history.
THE SONS OF MY FATHERS
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AMERICAN RUDE
BACON 3-WAY WITH IVANKA
TRUMPERY THE CARTOON BUFFOON
TRUMPERY THE CARTOON BUFFOON
TRUMPERY THE CARTOON BUFFOON
MEET-IVANKA
MEET IVANA
MEET IVANA THE TERRIBLE
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Marijuana Users Win Elections!
Oregon, Alaska and Washington D.C. join the states of Washington and Colorado.
The big winners are marijuana users in Oregon and Alaska where voters approved the legalization of recreational marijuana. The states of Washington and Colorado who legalized recreational marijuana in 2012. In Oregon adults will now be able to legally possess up to 8 ounces of marijuana in their homes and up to one ounce in public. Similar to Colorado new revenue raised from sales and marijuana taxes for the State of Oregon could be many millions of dollars per year in addition to reduced law enforcement costs. In Alaska adults will be able possess up to one ounce of marijuana and grow three mature plants.
November 6, 2014. Online News Casino
Oregon Legalizes Marijuana
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