2016 PRESIDENTIAL DERBY
Daily Racing RagThe Daily Racing Rag
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BERNIE SANDERS starring in WALK THIS WAY
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DONALD TRUMP starring in TAX CHEETO
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LEMONADE
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DONALD TRUMP starring in GOP HANGOVER
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THE BERNIE HORROR PICTURE SHOW
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DONALD TRUMP starring in JOHN MILLER
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DONALD TRUMP starring in PIMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE President Trump draws both criticism and praise when names his son as Secretary Of State who then fires the entire diplomatic corps and replaces them with high-end prostitutes who have sparkling personalities. I know what world leaders want. Believe me. That I can say.
DONALD TRUMP starring in PIMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE
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DONALD TRUMP starring in SECRETS Trump reprises his role from the 2004 movie with even more chilling revelations. "I have eight lifetime achievement awards. The original owners are dead." "I use shark meat for tuna fish." "I once gave a dime to a homeless woman. She died before she could spend it." "Stephen King is afraid of me".
DONALD TRUMP starring in TRUMP SECRETS
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DONALD TRUMP starring in SINALOA TACO SALAD A practical joke turns into serious drama when a billionaire's personal Mexican chef makes a pointed joke with a Sinaloa Taco Salad created for Cinco de Mayo. Not amused the billionaire played well by Donald Trump fires the chef and has his wife and 21 of their cousins deported.
DONALD TRUMP starring in SINALOA TACO SALAD
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STALLONE and TRUMP starring in GREED Stallone takes a break from living large in his Italian villa when his old pal offers him five million bucks to train him for a boxing match. When told he looks like an old woman in the boxing ring a smug Trump replies he gets to fight in the billionaire division. Mostly a bunch of really old guys believe me.
STALLONE and TRUMP starring in GREED
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BERNIE SANDERS starring as INDIANA SANDERS Bernie gets all excited when after a lifetime of often fruitless efforts he suddenly finds himself just inches from procuring the golden idol he has searched for so passionately for so long. He hesitates realizing an unseen security apparatus has guarded the treasure for many decades.
BERNIE SANDERS starring as INDIANA SANDERS
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TED CRUZ starring in RESURRECTED The day of wakening finally arrives and Rafael Snow can hear the resurrection of his brother Jon occurring in the next room. Rafael briefly comes back to life but his resurrection goes unnoticed and he suddenly dies forever when the Red Woman tumbles off the balcony outside his door.
TED CRUZ starring in RESURRECTED
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DONALD TRUMP starring in ARMY OF THE BRAIN DEAD When it's this cold nobody does a lot of thinking. Believe me. So now we're gonna lead this terrific army of the dead a really terrific army and take back Westeros. We're gonna win like you have never seen and we're gonna make Westeros great and totally dead again. That I can say.
DONALD TRUMP starring in ARMY OF THE BRAIN DEAD
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HILLARY CLINTON starring in THE IRON LADY When the position of Royal Ruler suddenly becomes available Hillary insists she is the most prepared and up to the challenge of leading the Iron Islands into negotiations for a mutually beneficial trade deal with the Rust Belt despite the fact a women has never before been elected leader.
HILLARY CLINTON starring in THE IRON LADY
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TED CRUZ starring in ICE COLD DEAD After being mathematically eliminated from a Night's Watch popularity and drinking contest Ted Cruz as Rafael Snow is determined to lay motionless with his brother and fellow bastard on the ice cold ground until their fates are revealed on the coming election day in the Indiana Islands.
TED CRUZ starring in ICE COLD DEAD
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BERNIE SANDERS NO TOMORROW FOR A SPARROW Saint Bernard makes a miscalculation by campaigning for election to the position of High Septon on the same day the Kingslayer returns in a very foul mood. Not realizing the gravity of the situation he delivers his stump speech to an assembly of the Kingslayer's soldiers.
BERNIE SANDERS IN NO TOMORROW FOR A SPARROW
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BERNIE SANDERS IN FAITH OF THE SEVEN Saint Bernard escorts his devoted followers and campaign contributors known as the Bernie Bros on a guided tour of the vast inner reaches of the Great Sept in the last days before for the coming election for High Septon. Tension builds as rival campaigners are offended by the Bernie Bros.
BERNIE SANDERS IN FAITH OF THE SEVEN
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BERNIE SANDERS IN FAITH NO MORE After hearing about the death of the High Septon in the Riot of King's Landing Saint Bernard travels all the way across Westeros with the intention of challenging the leader of a protest movement known as the Sparrows in the coming election for the position of High Septon of the Faith of Seven.
BERNIE SANDERS in FAITH NO MORE
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BERNIE SANDERS IN OFF PITCH Bernie shows off his artistic flair and musical hipster chops in this live performance piece recorded in a dive bar hangout in New York City's Greenwich Village. With only his bongo drums and an occasional horn solo his spoken word poetry is punctuated by weird/cool cat noises from Grumpy Cat.
BERNIE SANDERS and GRUMPY CAT starring in OFF PITCH
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BERNIELAND After retiring from politics Bernie builds a miniature Danish village and kiddie amusement park named Bernieland at the end of his driveway largely so his grandchildren will visit more often but also offers free admission for kids in the neighborhood. Former Bernie Bros volunteer to teach socialist ideology to toddlers. Rated G
BERNIELAND -FREE ADMISSION
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AMAZON ARMAGEDDON Statuesque Wonder Woman at six-foot eight with a voluptuous body had always received the stares of men and boys growing up but when she moved to Gotham City she was unprepared for the constant vulgar and misogynous onslaught until one day she finally hears enough and goes to war with all men.
AMAZON ARMAGEDDON
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IT'S UP TO YOU NEW YORK - CONCERT PRESENTED BY CANADA WHY Conservative crooner Ted Cruz cruises into the Big Apple for a concert date on April 19 and decides to take in the big city sights and sounds. After asking for directions from New Yorkers Cruz ends up on the F U train and stranded somewhere on Long Island.
IT'S UP TO YOU NEW YORK - CONCERT PRESENTED BY CANADA WHY
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BERNIE SANDERS FREE FISH After a soccer loss in Burlington Bernie realizes he isn't getting any younger and this is his last chance to run for President. However he needs two things he doesn't have. One is a political party and two is a sure-fire can't miss slogan. He decides on Democrats and FREE FISH and the rest becomes history.
FREE FISH
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WASSUP WISCONSIN Wisconsin's favorite regional morning TV talk show WASSUP WISCONSIN goes in-depth in a timely expose of outrageous campaign promises that are really ridiculous pandering fantasies as well some very rotten campaign tactics that have cast a palpable odor across a state that already smells like a 1000 dairy farms.
WASSUP WISCONSIN - WISCONSIN MORNING TELEVISION
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DIE BONBONPAPIER - THE CANDY WRAPPERS TV Guido doesn't speak German but was told in Italian by an anonymous source that this is a very weird film about a couple of pervy guys who lure underage girls with candy and and then do some creepy things with cellophane and fat pants but it's all dubbed in German so he wasn't sure.
DIE BONBONPAPIER - THE CANDY WRAPPERS
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THE PUNISHMENT Listen Sweetie there has to be some form of punishment. We have no choice. I have no choice. Believe me honey. Nobody cherishes you women and your women's bodies more then I do believe me. But you naughty naughty naughty naughty girl. There has to be some form of punishment. I absolutely have no choice.
THE PUNISHMENT
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TRUMPOLOGY Developed by Donald J. Trump, Trumpology is a religion that offers a complete and certain understanding of the your victim's true gullible nature and their relationship to selfishness, dysfunctional family, hatefulness and all low life forms thus entitling you to both winning all the time and virtually being your own Supreme Being.
TRUMPOLOGY
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INDECENT PROPOSAL Katrina Hurricane plays a bright and attractive young political science graduate who is hired to work for a Presidential candidate but soon becomes his mistress and cunningly a close confidant of his spouse. When a mysterious billionaire threatens to expose their affair Katrina offers discreet sex to keep him quiet.
INDECENT PROPOSAL
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THE CUBAN MISTRESS CRISIS This new eagerly anticipated production set off a bidding war as reviews have been mostly raves especially for newcomer actress Katrina Hurricane. Her role as the sexy seductress double agent who bends the highest and mightiest of the political universe to her ever changing whims and desires is irresistible.
THE CUBAN MISTRESS CRISIS
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EGGS IN A CASKET They don't really like him but he is rich so he must be smart they figure. He says he is smart. He has a trophy wife. Still he says a lot of things they aren't so sure of but nobody would tell that many lies, would they? Then he said he didn't want their money but no one was surprised when he gladly took it anyway.
EGGS IN A CASKET
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THE GRADUATES Based on a true story. It is the summer of 2008 when three friends get pink slips and join the ranks of the unemployed. But they have a plan so they scrape together every last dollar and enroll at Trump University. Gradually their investment becomes a complete loss save for pity donations they earn as panhandlers.
THE GRADUATES
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OBSESSION DEEP DESIRES A psychologically penetrating series of candid celebrity interviews. One of the best has Donald Trump revealing his romance secrets. Trust me. I cherish women. But when you meet a boner maker with a terrific rack and rear you have to treat her like a dog. Believe me. Like a dog. That I can say. Absolutely.
OBSESSION
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THE TRUMP RIOTS Netflix has another blockbuster in this seven part mini-series starring Donald Trump, Ted Cruz, Gary Busey, Kid Rock, Sarah Palin and Scott Baio. Tensions build for months and record-setting summer heat pushes people to the breaking point as violence erupts before the GOP convention doors are even opened.
THE TRUMP RIOTS
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TALKING TATS In yet another spin-off E Network reality series noted politically conservative celebrity commentator Caitlyn Jenner invites other upper income conservatives and tattoo aficionados to her luxury estate for intimate poolside discussions about where to get the latest Donald Trump tattoo permanently inked onto your body for life.
TALKING TATS
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MAKE AMERICA 8 AGAIN His cousin was lucky. I saw the whole thing. Believe me I'm not gonna mess with that kid. Believe me. I put him in charge of the fourth grade. Okay? I put him in charge of the fourth grade. By the way I've received great credit for that. Just in case you missed it. Which is likely. I'm just saying. Hey. I'm just saying.
MAKE AMERICA 8 AGAIN
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MAKE AMERICA EAT AGAIN Donald Trump resumes his award winning role as Top Bun. Without even waiting for an election Top Bun announces he has been elected Commander In Chef and orders his U.S. Secretary of Meats Chris Christie to take aggressive actions aimed at countering a decline in sales of Trump Premium Steaks.
MAKE AMERICA EAT AGAIN
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SNOW JOB This new millennial pandering film features Donald Snow played by Donald Trump as a fast-talking con man who is to talking snow jobs what Snoop Dog was to Hip Hop. Nothing melts Donald Snow's cold cold heart and any questions to his many cons quickly gets the questioner shoved right off the Donald Snow snowmobile.
SNOW JOB
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DRUMPF HUNDE DES HASSES - TRUMP HOUNDS OF HATE A popular German TV show about animals focuses on the Drumpf Hund (Trump hound). This extremely vicious breed was first documented in Bavaria in the late 1600's and bred almost exclusively for the purpose of use in often lethal battles with enemies of their owners.
DRUMPF HUNDE DES HASSES - TRUMP HOUNDS OF HATE
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CURB YOUR LACK OF ENTHUSIASM New drama based on a true story. With brutal honesty the Elizabeth Warren branch of the left wing of the Democratic party tells the Bernie Sanders branch of the left wing crowd it was foolish and a guaranteed loser to self-identify as a pariah radical socialist instead of a FDR New Deal Democrat.
CURB YOUR LACK OF ENTHUSIASM
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TRUMP PUMP from the producers of JOY Within days of withdrawing from a brutal political contest a billionaire entrepreneur and reality television star is back on TV selling multiple new products including the red tinted Trump Pump. Trump appears as himself and reveals a mother lode of secret fun facts about the sex life of a billionaire.
TRUMP PUMP (30 minute advertisement)
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MASTADON Years after the collapse and destruction of a civilized America a murderous and racist mad man played perfectly by Donald Trump still bullies the populace he hasn't murdered into total mindless submission by using any and all evil tactics as necessary. In a truly dreary and horrific vision of the future there is no hope for humanity.
MASTADON
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IT TAKES A THIEF In the 1980's he lived large and was content stealing the finest jewels and having them remade into new pieces which he then insured and had stolen yet again to collect the insurance money but with age came wisdom and the knowledge he could make an easy $10 million by selling fake diplomas to a fake university.
IT TAKES A THIEF
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CRIPPLED AMERICA
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TROLL STORY
Marijuana Users Win Elections!
Oregon, Alaska and Washington D.C. join the states of Washington and Colorado.
The big winners are marijuana users in Oregon and Alaska where voters approved the legalization of recreational marijuana. The states of Washington and Colorado who legalized recreational marijuana in 2012. In Oregon adults will now be able to legally possess up to 8 ounces of marijuana in their homes and up to one ounce in public. Similar to Colorado new revenue raised from sales and marijuana taxes for the State of Oregon could be many millions of dollars per year in addition to reduced law enforcement costs. In Alaska adults will be able possess up to one ounce of marijuana and grow three mature plants.
November 6, 2014. Online News Casino
Oregon Legalizes Marijuana
Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert.

Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then...Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.
Anwar al-Awlaki's Final Seconds
TRUMPERY DEFINITION