2016 PRESIDENTIAL DERBY
HILLARY CLINTON 1-9 GARY JOHNSON 350-1 JILL STEIN 8000-1 DONALD TRUMP 7-5
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Daily Racing RagThe Daily Racing Rag
DAILY RACING RAG BIG SPECIAL EDITION - SUMMER previews of new movies, TV or online series, special programs and more!
THE SECRET LIFE OF RACIST LAWN JOCKEYS
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THE 70 YEAR OLD ROOKIE
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DON'T THINK TWICE
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DOHBOY
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TRUE GRIFT After winning the Western Wax Museum in a poker game the new owner installs a nude Donald Trump at a podium exactly where wax Hailee Steinfeld had been standing in a scene from classic movie western TRUE GRIT. Wax John Wayne gets mighty riled and within days nude wax Trump is found riddled with wax bullets.
TRUE GRIFT
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WARGAME TRUMP The latest in the WARGAME series allows you to choose the President Trump avatar and bomb the shit out of anybody and everybody on planet earth. If other players resist your moves of conquest you can go nuclear with a simple voice command and kill millions of people in mere minutes. UV Rated for Ultra Violence.
WARGAME TRUMP
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INTERNATIONAL ESQUIRER TV Guido says this is exactly the kind of despicable trash journalism that caused him to flee his native Italy. The Daily Racing Rag's top TV critic also submitted a lengthy review but unfortunately absolutely none of it is printable and damn near incriminating as well as indicating severe emotional stress.
INTERNATIONAL ESQUIRER
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IN LIKE FLYNN It was like somebody had hacked his Ashley Madison account because when Lt. Gen. Flynn met Vladimir Putin they hit it off like brothers from another mother. Hate terrorists... check! Hate Muslims... check! Hate blacks... check! Hate gays... check! Hate Obama... check! Love torture... check! Love Trump... check!
IN LIKE FLYNN
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THE PRETZEL PRINCESS Ivanka returns from her visit to Croatia and Crimea and eagerly shows her Daddy what she learned from her new best female friend who just happens to be Vladimir Putin's current girlfriend. Daddy is so proud of his Pretzel Princess he gives her a great big upside down wet kiss and hugs her close to him.
THE PRETZEL PRINCESS
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THE BOZO'S BACK IN TOWN After serving almost 38 years in prison one original member and two original roadies have reassembled the one time international super rock group Thin Lizzard who had string of hits in the late seventies. On their new album the Boyz are now old men and damn cranky especially when it comes to politics.
THE BOZO'S BACK IN TOWN
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THE MUNSTERS The most highly anticipated Halloween blockbuster this year is the new Munster's movie starring Donald and Melania Trump. Distant relatives of the original TV Munsters these new Munsters are far more kinky and sexually obsessed as they conspire to kill innocents to obtain bigger and better body parts for themselves.
THE MUNSTERS
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AMERICAN DIGGER Now well into the second season Donald J. Trump has dug himself a very impressive hole and continues attacking the earth savagely certain he is just one shovel full away from whatever he is digging so hard for. Trump family members appear frequently to haul out buckets of dirt and offer words of encouragement.
AMERICAN DIGGER
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TRUMPOLEON As producer, director and star of this historical epic based roughly on the French Revolution and Napoleon Bonaparte, Donald Trump insisted on changing the main character's name. "Believe me. Today no one has even heard of a French guy named Napoleon but they know Trump and they know I'm a star. Believe me."
TRUMPOLEON
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PROFILES IN COWARDICE - DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE King Donald sends word of his displeasure with colonists demanding independence and threatens the lives of his agents known as Republicans and confiscates their properties in England. They quickly offer apologies and draft a declaration swearing their loyalty to the King.
PROFILES IN COWARDICE - DECLARATION OF DEPENDENCE
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CLOCKWORK ORANGE Donald Trump's very first film starred his future third wife and was ignored when released but has become a cult favorite as it is truly as queer as a clockwork orange. Trump's character narrates but appears onscreen only as a shadow. The illusion of someone normal soon dissolves into a reality of batshit craziness.
CLOCKWORK ORANGE
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THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE It was a very sweet deal. He could skim cash like a tuna boat. Had more whores than Caligula. He had people for any and every personal request. But he gave it up. Closed it down. It was the ultimate sacrifice. On the last day he gave a vet four $500 chips for a his purple heart medal. He felt he had earned it.
THE ULTIMATE SACRIFICE
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JOIN THE MUTINY Paul Ryan stars as a severely conflicted spokesperson for a very evil and very large multi-national corporation. A job which forces him to tell lethal lies with almost every press release, news conference or TV appearance. He secretly signals the underground as his guilt consumes him and his life is put in very real danger.
JOIN THE MUTINY
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THE WRATH OF KHAN A Federation Gold Star family rages in an intergalactic transmission at Captain Trump over his despicable behavior and insults of the family of a Federation hero. After being asked if he has even read the Prime Directive Captain Trump threatens to eject all Muslim crew members into deep space on escape pods.
THE WRATH OF KHAN
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YOU DECIDE In this new game show on FOX WHITE audience members are polled about events of the day and contestants compete for cash prizes trying to correctly guess the audience's most typical response to a series of either or questions regarding politics, celebrities, scandals, gossip and outright lies. Every weekday at 2:30PM.
YOU DECIDE
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MELANIA TRUMP - WHITE HOUSE TOUR This video game has a nude Melania Trump giving a tour of the White House where players can remodel the White House with help from Home Depot salespeople. In Level 2 advanced players can accompany nude Melania Trump touring exclusive home remodeling projects of the ultra wealthy.
MELANIA TRUMP - WHITE HOUSE TOUR
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RED DON After winning the Republican party nomination and stealing the U.S. Presidency Red Don assassinates or imprisons all remaining political opposition and reveals his true identity as a Russian oligarch, Vladimir Donald Juka Drumpkinov. He then invalidates the U.S. Constitution and Bill Of Rights and finally discards his orange wig.
RED DON
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COMMIE CON This film is a mashup of a Siamese twin/buddy comedy romp with an end of the world disaster epic special effects included. You've heard of invisible friends well these two billionaire world con men are somehow stricken with Psychic Siamese Twins Disorder (PSTD) and in their madness proceed to end mankind for all eternity.
COMMIE CON
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MASTERMIND THEATRE In every corner and crevice of the body of human knowledge and experience there have been visionary leaders we call masterminds. In this seasons premiere and extremely dark episode MASTERMIND THEATRE explores the masterminds of a brewing race war predicted to explode in a hate-filled America.
MASTERMIND THEATRE
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THE SONS OF MY FATHERS If doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity then the entire human race is and always has been insane. This documentary series takes a deep dive into hundreds of seemingly incredible coincidences that have amazingly replayed throughout human history.
THE SONS OF MY FATHERS
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13 HOURS - THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BONDAGE After 13 years of marriage the world's top secret agent 70 year-old Top Bun can no longer get romantically aroused without incorporating an element of extreme danger. Top Bun accidentally shoots a member of the shirtless Mariachi band he hired to tie Melania up in a fake kidnapping.
13 HOURS - THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BONDAGE
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PRETTY WOMAN Twenty years later this remake of the classic Cinderella the Lucky Hooker story has an international flavor which means you cannot understand anything she says but that turns out to be exactly why a wealthy self-obsessed sociopath feels so at ease with this lovable liar a gorgeous street walking prostitute from Slovenia.
PRETTY WOMAN
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UNCLE JEFFREY This fictional teen romance gone wrong movie doesn't get explicit but insinuates some incredibly dark events as narrated by one of the teenage girl characters. A bitter former sex toy of Uncle Jeffrey becomes convinced that a financially desperate celebrity has offered his unknowing virgin daughter to the billionaire.
UNCLE JEFFREY
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PINK ELEPHANTS ON PARADE (music video) Look out! Look out! Pink elephants on parade. Hippety hoppety. Hippety hoppety. They're here and there. Pink elephants everywhere. Some are odd and some are quaint. But seeing things you know that ain't can certainly give you a fright. Pink elephants on the right. Pink elephants on parade.
PINK ELEPHANTS ON PARADE
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TOP BUN - SECOND BANANA Already in season two TOP BUN inexplicably starts with episode four when Top Bun pulls his running mate out from behind the Indiana state flag in a bumbling magic trick and jokes "I was expecting a bunny". A humiliated Mike Pence recovers and sings a beautiful version of Andy Williams "Moon River".
TOP BUN - SECOND BANANA
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VEEP AUDITION Simon Kalb appears as a celebrity guest judge to help Donald Trump choose a running mate in this GOP-TV mini-series competition. Chris Christie performs an energetic dance number while Newt Gingrich proves tone deaf and sings off key. Mike Pence impresses the audience with a medley of Andy Williams hits.
VEEP AUDITION
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THE NEWT TESTAMENT In this episode Donald Trump thanks his speechwriter for a terrific speech that he ignores as he informs Newt he won't be his VP pick but says "Newt's a terrific, terrific guy. Believe me. He's terrific. I can say that. Right? I can. Yes he's really terrific and look at those tits. Can you believe that? I mean yeah. Terrific."
THE NEWT TESTAMENT
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TYRANT - GOD OF GREED This sword and shield action drama set in the year 200 B.C. is an interesting hybrid of SPARTACUS and GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Dominus Trumpus buys the Temple of the Oracle which rests atop a natural gas fissure and rules his empire in an altered state which makes him think he is a giant son of the Gods.
TYRANT - GOD OF GREED
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SIX WIVES CLUB To marry a wealthy man had been until recent generations the fastest route to financial security for women but today if the rich man becomes famous it pays equally well to be an ex-wife with incriminating information. The six wives in this film assemble yearly for what amounts to contract negotiations and bonus payments.
SIX WIVES CLUB
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THE LADIES MAN After being ejected from a TV taping of SOUL TRAIN for one too many vulgar and inappropriate comments about sexy black girls Donnie hires a teenage girl to tutor him on black hipness but she ends up tied to a bed until a friend rescues her and Donnie ends up in prison with a big black cellmate named Leon.
THE LADIES MAN
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BRIDE TO ORDER Destined to be an instant horror classic BRIDE TO ORDER picks up one generation after Roman Polanski's 1968 classic ROSEMARY'S BABY. Rosemary's baby has been kept in a secret location in Palm Beach until her 13th birthday when she is sold as a virgin to a wealthy New York City real estate developer.
BRIDE TO ORDER
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CELEBRITY CRUSH Ever notice how married couples start to look alike after many years? Or how people's pets often resemble themselves? CELEBRITY CRUSH researchers found that celebrities are 10 times more celebrity obsessed than non-celebrities and explore a fascinating group of celebrities who look like other celebrities.
CELEBRITY CRUSH
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THE SILVER SPOONIES Those lovable Goonies are back for a sequel after 30 years but this time they are on the side as the very same family who tried to demolish their homes in the original GOONIES. Instead of attempting thievery the Silver Spoonies make a generous above value all cash offer and the desperately poor Goonies accept.
THE SILVER SPOONIES
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AS SEEN ON NEW ON TV - NEW PRODUCTS 2016 Trump toilet became very popular but at first was only manufactured to be very funny joke. Then many orders come at top flight luxury cost over $2000 dollars U.S. Fine Shenzhen porcelain ceramic healthy sanitary ware with best quality heated toilet seat and warm water tiny penis bidet.
AS SEEN ON NEW ON TV - NEW PRODUCT 2016
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DONALD TRUMP starring in THE LYING KING Hakuna Matata no. Hakuna Tomato yes if you've got one throw it at this thinly disguised vanity piece in which Donald Trump declares his Kingship "I am the King" so often it even infuriates his latest trophy wife who threatens to sleep with every store manger in his mattress chain empire.
DONALD TRUMP starring in THE LYING KING
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DONALD TRUMP starring in POOP HERE IT IS In a word silly but this new raunchy ruckus of a movie musical starring the 6'3" Baby Donald Trump has PORKY'S like scenes that you will never be able to un-see or forget thanks to a catchy sound track that is a non-stop parade of hooks with new parody lyrics. Poop here it is, for sure.
DONALD TRUMP starring in POOP HERE IT IS
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DONALD TRUMP starring as THE BFU 240 year-old Lady Liberty is in for the scare of a lifetime when she meets the Big FU (Donald Trump). At first the larger than life behemoth celebrity and his smarmy charm is merely annoying but she soon realizes THE BFU is a true monster and dangerous threat to the preservation of the Union.
DONALD TRUMP starring as THE BFU
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DONALD TRUMP starring as THE NIGHT KING Disappointed to be left out of the GAME OF THRONES season six finale the Night King threatens to take his Army of The Dead to Showtime and have a new show starring Donald Trump ready to compete head to head against the worldwide mega-hit fantasy series in season seven.
DONALD TRUMP starring as THE NIGHT KING
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DONALD TRUMP presents FASHION NATION SWIM EDITION Donald Trump's ever-expanding business empire now includes women's swimwear. Trophy wife Melania will model the new line designed by German skinhead designer Otto Knaub. Trump says his annual TV swimwear show will surpass Victoria Secret's ratings numbers.
FASHION NATION new on TV
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DONALD TRUMP starring in A LETTER TO THREE WIVES A threatening five page letter from Trump's attorneys is received by Trump's two former and one current wife reminding them in the harshest language of the financial consequences of violating the confidentiality agreements they all signed before their marriages to Donald Trump.
DONALD TRUMP starring in A LETTER TO THREE WIVES
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TROLL STORY
Marijuana Users Win Elections!
Oregon, Alaska and Washington D.C. join the states of Washington and Colorado.
The big winners are marijuana users in Oregon and Alaska where voters approved the legalization of recreational marijuana. The states of Washington and Colorado who legalized recreational marijuana in 2012. In Oregon adults will now be able to legally possess up to 8 ounces of marijuana in their homes and up to one ounce in public. Similar to Colorado new revenue raised from sales and marijuana taxes for the State of Oregon could be many millions of dollars per year in addition to reduced law enforcement costs. In Alaska adults will be able possess up to one ounce of marijuana and grow three mature plants.
November 6, 2014. Online News Casino
Oregon Legalizes Marijuana
Al-Awlaki's Final Seconds On Tape!
Hellfire missile finds American-born terrorist in Yemen desert.

Anwar al-Awlaki was humming along in his just-washed 1988 Mercedes Benz on the main highway crossing the hot Yemeni desert in the Al Jawf region and talking jihad with Samir Kahn, his webmaster and only other known American-born al-Qaeda terrorist, and then...Byaaaaang! He's soot. President Obama announced the development adding we've run out of influential American-born radical al-Qaeda terrorists to vaporize.
October 6, 2011. Yemen Blockbuster Video.
Anwar al-Awlaki's Final Seconds
TRUMPERY DEFINITION