|DAILY RACING RAG BIG
2018 previews of the new movies, television and online series American viewers are clamoring to see.
| ASS IN THE HOLE He went from the penthouse to the White House to an underground hidey hole ala Saddam Hussein. After being indicted on 232 felony counts the former President flees the country and becomes the world's most wanted, hunted and hated man as he tries to elude capture.
| DRUNK NEWS with Steve Bannon Steve gets drunk in Alabama and ends up running a Republican Senate campaign for an accused child molester on a dare. After suffering a humiliating loss in a can't lose race Bannon leaves the rally without comment until waking up in the street the next morning.
| INCESTOLOGY Nepotism Nihilism Narcissism - Incestology is a body of quasi-religious beliefs and practices developed in 1984 by American real estate investor D. John Trump. Trump initially developed a program of ideas called Rationalizations which were later distributed through Trump University.
| DOWNSIZING When her scientists discover how to shrink human mental capacity as a solution to high advertising rates, Ivanka decides to abandon her stressed D.C. life by having Jared convince her double-dosed father she was accidently shrunk into a plastic doll while visiting a factory in China.
| COACH Judge Roy Moore stars as coach of the Crimsonettes junior gymnastics team. Questions arise as the team travels around the state with the coach and former gymnast Sassy. Parents want to know why the girls costumes keep getting skimpier while the girls are still terrible at gymnastics.
| BOORISH Donald Drumpf (Donald Trump) has it all... a great company, a beautiful third wife with terrific legs, four kids and a big penthouse in his own building, but as a insecure racist white man, he begins to question whether all his success has brought too much cultural assimilation for his family.
| THE ALABAMA DATING GAME Judge Roy Moore of Alabama judged hundreds of teen beauty pageants before creating Alabama's take on the original TV game show. Each week Roy and his panel of enabler's help him choose and new young girl to take on a special date to Disney World in Florida.
| REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ALABAMA The Real Housewives franchise comes to Alabama, the heart of the Confederacy and home of several famous little people. In Alabama the age of consent is when her mama says so and housewives unspoiled by book-learning and pure as the driven snow star.
| TERMINATED - JUDGEMENT DAY After innumerable horrific acts on earth a very bad angel played by Donald Trump is recalled to heaven where he is stripped of his wings and ordered to face termination of his angels benefits package after a special investigation and trial led by Jesus Christ himself.
| HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN Donald Trump stars in this horror version of the 1980's TV series. After buying his way into heaven and his reasssignment to earth as an angel a billionaire's sociopath and racist character flaws reemerge with a vengeance as he urges a minority child to walk into the light.
| ANESTHESIA Kellyanne Conway in her biggest role yet stars in a cautionary tale about drug abuse. After being unexpectedly appointed Opiod Czaress she looks into America's opiod problem but the despondent czaress tragically slips into the opiod pit of addiction and desperation in her own private life.
| WESTSIDE STORY After a natural disaster and flooding members of the Jets a local white
supremacist gang are reluctant to help the Puerto Ricans in the neighborhood until they see how beautiful Maria is. They plot to get in her pants until Robert
Wagner chases them down the alley with a shotgun.
| MUELLER'S GAME The true story of Robert Mueller a dogface veteran FBI director who runs the world's most exclusive high-stakes poker game as a special prosecutor and then arrests a dangerous group of conspirators in the middle of the night with 17 FBI agents wielding automatic weapons.
| THE WITCH HUNTER In the most anticipated new series of 2017 Robert Mueller
stars as The Witch Hunter who comes out of retirement for his most difficult hunt yet as suspicions are high that an evil witch is
occupying the White House backed by a horde of Russian demons and corrupted underlings.
| THE GRIM REAPER RETURNS The Grim Reaper as played by James Comey is a dark
dark story because the reaper doesn't deliver flowers... just bad news. At six foot eight the imposing sight of death is enough to make one
septuagenarian politician cry like a baby and send desperate needy Tweets.
| THE AMERICANS KGB agents Kushnokov and Drumpf establish a back door channel of
secure communication for the President to conspire secretly with the Russians but when Ivanka pulls clueless Top Bun aside to tell him he gets a four
hour erection mistakenly thinking she wants to have anal sex.
| BOW DOWN ASS CLOWN Top Bun makes billions of dollars in this episode but in
his book the chapter on how to kneel was axed because it is his most top secret of secrets. Saudi TV mocks him claiming that when he was offered a
billion dollar commission he knelt and went straight for the King's balls.
| THE CLOSER Every since the first time Daddy had sex with her he told
her "If you want to be the richest woman in the world you can never give it away for free. Always get something in return." Now as an adult she's
a real pro. Jared writes the deal. Ivanka closes the deal. Daddy takes the credit.
| DONALD J. TRUMP - TOP BUN America spread her legs wide not to merely
be grabbed or groped but she longed for the manly thrusts of leadership he promised and with so much energy he seemed certain to be
a helluva hayride. But then he whipped out a tiny little dick and took a piss on her pussy.
| THE BAD SEED This was Top Bun's first movie role and and this special 50th
anniversary edition has been digitally enhanced for clarity. TV Guido says the most fascinating thing is that Top Bun has been playing basically the
exact same character for 50 years and over 300 movie and television roles.
|DAILY RACING RAG BIG
SPECIAL EDITION - SUMMER previews of the new movies, television and online series American viewers are clamoring to see.
| ABOVE THE LAW Top Bun gets drunk on power and starts auditioning
sycophants seeking positions as federal judge appointees. After watching an episode of BULL on CBS he builds a mock courtroom and holds mock trials to
determine if any of his potential appointees might ever rule against him.
| PAYDAY Top Bun invites the Russians to bring their monthly payment by the
oval office as he has some terrific inside information on a huge international corporate merger that could net Trump Enterprises nearly two
billion dollars at a cost of 1000 dead American allied soldiers fighting in Syria and Iraq.
| SUN UP with TRUMP TMN joins the crowded morning TV show market with a new show
featuring Donald Trump eating breakfast in the White House and watching all of the other morning TV shows in real time. It's especially
entertaining when Donnie inevitably throws his cereal bowl at the television.
| WOMEN WHO WORK In exchange for several product placements in key scenes
Ivanka Trump was able to finance, executive produce, direct and star in her first major film role without investing any Trump money. Based on her
best-selling book she closes big money deals with a little blue helper.
| PODCAST After retired Lt. Gen Mike Flynn is sentenced to federal prison for
lying about his involvement with Russian intelligence agents he starts a new career and his own podcast talking about prison life and world
affairs. Tensions mount when a few of his comments offend the other prisoners.
| THE GREAT WALL Correctly described as product placement in search of a movie
the theatrical version bombed and went straight to DVD. There is a reason General George Patton famously said that permanent security fortifications
are monuments to the stupidity of man. Starring Donald Trump.
| CINDERFELLA Top Bun is inspired by a visit with the Queen and decides to buy
his own gilded carriage so that he may be driven around his mile long circular driveway dozens of times and delivered to his own fancy ball while
dressed in his favorite fancy ball gown from his second marriage.
| REEFER MADNESS In this new crime drama series based in the 1980's Attorney
General J. Beau Sessions organizes an elite unit of anti-marijuana crusaders to go after criminal pot-smoking filthy hippies that are known to
congregate around Taco Bells and other Mexican fast food establishments.
| SLOGAN Top Bun wakes up in a remote outpost near the Mexican border
where he was searching for a re-election slogan to replace Make America Great Again and decides to reveal to the world his dark secret that
even though he has always been a mutant he doesn't really care for Patrick Stewart.
| SUPREME DANCING WITH THE STARS Republicans threw away Senate tradition for
fave judge Neil Gorsuch and now his celebrity status has earned him a new spin-off dance show where the dance judges themselves will be judged
by the viewing audience. Gorsuch doppelganger Tom Bergeron hosts.
| CRIME FIGHTERS Ever since the first time he rode his batmobile as a five year
old Donny (Top Bun) knew he wanted to kill people in the name of justice. First in his neighborhood then in his city and country and finally as the
best superhero ever Donny was going to be policeman for the world.
| BEAUTY AND THE BEAST A bright beautiful, independent young woman is taken
prisoner by a beast and locked in the west wing of the beast's castle until she goes batshit crazy and starts singing with the silverware. The beast
takes advantage and seduces her for use in his own personal fantasies.
| THE LAST WITCH HUNTEE Vin Diesel a.k.a. the Last Witch Hunter is back because
the world is suffering from another goddam witch and this witch is a motherfucker. Benedict Donald is at his malevolent witch worst here and Vin
Diesel will have his hands full slaying this very powerful goddam witch.
| DONALD J. TRUMP - OOPS The President goes on a high speed joyride in a
supporters dump truck only to carelessly crash into a compact car killing it's driver, Bill Acha. His underlings scramble to create a cover-up and
control the damage of an out of control reckless driving Bill-killing President.
| THE SEASON OF TREASON Starring Paul Manafort. An international dealmaker
commits treason to pull off the deal of a lifetime when he arranges to sell pro-Russian U.S. foreign policy changes for a multi-billion dollar
commission on the sale of a 19.5% share of a gigantic Russian oil company.
| PUTY DUTY Starring Rex Tillerson and Vladimir Putin. Rex Tillerson skips a
vitally important NATO meeting to take flowers and a stuffed Easter Bunny to Vladimir Putin after Putin threatens to sell the Trump Golden Shower
video to the highest bidder unless Tillerson blows him while riding a ferris wheel.
| THE FINAL PUTZ Starring Donald Trump. The President starts a nuclear war with
North Korea and China that kills close to a billion people and is forced to live underground for months until he finally comes out to play golf and
impressed with his game declares himself one of the world's best living golfers.
| PIMP AND CIRCUMVENCE The art of the deal is getting what you want but when you
already get everything you want the bigger thrill comes from doing something really despicable and crazy and dirty and very illegal and circumventing
all normal manner of law and business and diplomacy and decency.
| DELIVERANCE 2 - REBOUND The amazing autistic banjo boy from the original film
is now sixty years old and on top the Tallulah County power pyramid but he's mad as hell and seeks righteous revenge for the sexual assaults he
suffered as a boy banjo prodigy up and down the Cahulawassee River.
| TRUMPCARE Episode 2 - SUICIDE HOTLINE Republicans ar giddy about one
provision in their TRUMPCARE bill that reduces regulations and saves money. By simply attaching a Do Not Resuscitate sticker to your suicide note
taxpayers are saved a potential major expense in case your attempt fails.
| TRUMPCARE In this new drama series Paul Ryan stars as the spokesperson for the
long awaited roll out of the Trumpcare plan which is the Republican solution to the serious problem of excessive unused morgue space that they blame
for driving up costs for the typical health insurance purchaser.
| DONNYLAND New fantasy drama... as the pressures build on President
Twitter he experiences a recurring dream every night at 2:46 AM in which he is a boy again and happy with everything he ever wanted including the
unconditional love of his mother but then panic sets in as he is unable to wake up.
| GOLDFINGERER In an all new episode Top Bun seizes an opportunity to make
millions by combining human trafficking and gold smuggling but a problem arises when the girls start dying from gold poisoning and that causes a
serious loss of profits for the criminal organization headed by Pootie.
| DEFLECTOR IN CHIEF As a frustrated President Goldschmuck starts to feel the
noose of consequences tighten because of his prior dishonest and unethical behavior he becomes the deflector in chief casting blame in all directions
but like a madhouse of mirrors all of the reflections are of himself.
| THE RECUSANT Top Bun as President Goldschmuck submits to no higher authority
than himself and his appointees who resist his omnipotent will or fail to execute his commands or misunderestimate his almightiness can suddenly find
themselves dangling by the ankles from Marine One at 1500 feet.
| GOLDSCHMUCK President Goldschmuck ingests peyote during a visit
from a Native American group and has a vivid dream of winning and winning with Ivanka gold trumpery so he installs no flush twitter toilets at
the White House and on Capital Hill confident he can pull solid gold nuggets out his ass.
| HIDDEN FINGERS On his first trip overseas President Top Bun is frightened
when his security detail suddenly disappears and Pootie with the Russian ambassador and some known Russian killers menacingly appear at his table to
remind him of their secret agreement made before last year's election.
| WELL OILED FINE TUNED MACHINE The new President takes his well oiled fine tuned
machine out for a spin but swerves to miss a dying alligator on the road and skids into an oil soaked ditch where regulation-freed polluters from
Jiffy Lube are dumping used motor oil in a former wildlife preserve.
| GHOST IN THE HOUSE The ghost of Lincoln has spent the last 150 years roaming
the halls of the White House and the new President has Honest Abe particularly annoyed about an apparent pathological dishonesty. Lincoln's ghost
tries to terrify the new President into going away and never coming back.
| FULL BLOWN SHARK SWARM While visiting the Navy's weaponized shark center in
Florida Top Bun notices a little scratch on the aquarium tank glass but when he puts his finger on the scratch it becomes a crack and then it becomes
a hole so he puts his finger in the hole and the sharks start to swarm.
| THE FAIL OF THE EMPIRE Donald Jr. and Eric face the biggest crisis in their
lives as the dollar value of the Trump brand and family name plummets. Their lifelong dreams of becoming billionaires independent of their father go
straight in the toilet when even K-mart dumps the Trump home products line.
| CAUGHT ON CAMERA Former CIA man George Bush Sr. installed the over 150
hidden cameras in the White House for the Secret Service to monitor but no one dares tell the new President whose habit of wandering around without a
bathrobe and his many disturbing perversions worries everybody.
| HELL RIDE Pootie couldn't believe his luck. This was the easiest thing he ever
did and Satan was certain to give him a big bonus for delivering the dim-witted douchebag sleazeball President running the former
superpower United States whose electorate is now the laughingstock of the entire world.
| A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL Shooting that guy on 5th avenue was bad enough but
once the body count became so large he lost count he just kinda assumed there was a special place waiting for him in hell but now his only hope was
that this is all a dream and he'll wake up with Ivanka by his side.
| SENATALIA In the season debut Mitch and Lamar at the request of the White
House must determine the penis sizes of all male Senators but instead decide to make up much larger sizes for every Senator to wickedly torment the
unpopular new President and his multiple penis related neuroses.
| SENATALIA - EPISODE 2 Chuck and Mitch and Lamar, all members of the Ball Face
Liars Club, conspire to further torment the new President by mercilessly mocking him during the introduction of a proposal for a total and complete
Persian Cat Ban that includes euthanizing the First Lady's pussy.
| LIBERTY EXTERMINATORS Under the new regime the Statue of Liberty is to be
moved to West Palm Beach, Florida and a nationwide pest control company wins a bid to privatize the immigration and naturalization service. Before
Lady Liberty is shipped her torch is stolen by scrap metal thieves.
| NOT MY CHEETO - PROTEST IN ORANGUTANGO The whole jungle is
distraught about the growing war and many of the residents blame the local orangutans for the actions of one far away hairy orange politician. The
local orangutans stage a loud demonstration to protest unfair accusations.
| WHEN OTHERWISE TERRIFIC ANIMALS GO BADLY Human beings are not the only
animals that otherwise are terrific animals that go badly and sometimes bigly. Even natural allies like Honey Badger and Pepe the Frog are
broken due to the compulsive bad behavior typical of all God's creatures.
| AMERICAN DISTRESS CARD Big movie star Donald J. Trump takes a small part
playing Karl Malden playing Detective Lieutenant Mike Stone pitching the American Distress Card in a television ad but a militant activist and makeup
artist switches glues and the big nose won't come off after the shoot.
| STONE COLD CRAZY - New! RINO Records release from EMPRESS Maybe once in a
generation does any record in any genre qualify as a world changing piece of plastic but this disc does just that. Despite near universal rejection
by music critics everywhere theses songs are loved by millions.
| APOCALIPS starring Donald Trump The pucker-lipped pouting face President is
humiliated at a G-8 Summit when his weave is yanked off his head by a disgruntled diplomat. He returns home in a full blown rage and unleashes the
nuclear option worldwide. Within a few days millions of people are dead.
| DICK TATER'S DEATHCARE In an animated world of half human couch potatoes an
unscrupulous billionaire Dick Tater makes a fortune converting underused golf courses and potato fields into low cost cemeteries with
his associates Darth Tater, Spud Nick, Russet Crowe and Dick's daughter Idaho.
| THE SOUND OF MUSIC starring Donald Trump With the help of Lee Greenwood and
a hologram of Adolf Hitler the New Fuhrer rewrites the lyrics to one of his favorite movie musicals incorporating Hitler's speeches as sung by old
country stylist Toby Keith and up and comer Carrie Underworld.
| REVELATION starring Donald Trump Trump portrays a President visiting the
solemn somber memorial room at CIA headquarters who is overwhelmed by the respect he has for the heroes who died for America and makes a
shocking revelation about the LIAR forehead tattoo he hides with his weave.
| INJUSTICE LEAGUE starring Donald Trump The Forgotten Forever War continues
after 16 years because WAR IS PEACE. Assemble enough alternatively educated and IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH. Human rights, worker rights and travel are all
obsolete because FREEDOM IS SLAVERY.
| NCIS - THE MOVIE After the new President double-crosses the Russians Pootie
sends a hit team suspected of killing two Navy frogmen and a pastry chef at Mar-a-Largo which puts Gibbs in charge of an investigation that uncovers
a mountain of impeachable evidence against the treasonous President.
| SELFIES WITH MAD DOG After a long career in the military a retired four star
General tries his hand at documentary filmmaking and travels around the world investigating unconventional weapons systems including systems so
unusual, overlooked or unknown they aren't even top secret yet.
| SINGING IN THE RAIN Pootie and his billionaire pals are riding high
what with everything going their way. So much so that they bust out in joyful song and dance. Not even darkened midday skies and toxic yellow rain
can dampen their spirits as they celebrate the prospect of even more personal wealth.
| MOSCOW GOLDEN SHOWER A billionaire businessman travels to Moscow for
business and to have sex with underage prostitutes but breaks his own Rule #16... Never order the golden shower in a luxury suite with
mirrored walls because the Russians film everything for later use in blackmail schemes.
| FABULIST FOUR Pootie Putin, Benedict Donald, Julian "Assman" Assange and Sean
"Pancake" Hannity star in the best movie ever made. Every word of dialog is expertly designed deceptive dishonesty led by Pootie the Prince of
Prevarication but all four fabricating falsifiers are Fabulist Hall of Famers.
| BENEDICT DONALD After the U.S. Senate strips him of his power in an
impeachment trial an embittered President played by Donald Trump calls on his Russian allies and points the way while Cossack soldiers burn the
White House and drain the reflecting pool at the base of the Washington Monument.
| WHITE RUSSIAN After an espionage campaign that crippled American democracy
and eroded American influence around the world Colonel Trumpskov returns home to Moscow to receive a hero's welcome and exclusive
rights to distribute Trump brand vodka which has become popular across Russia.
|S P E C I A L
R E P O R T S
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